The Human Heart
by Ryuuko1
Summary: What if being sent to the Underwhere wasn't enough to break Nastasia's brainwashing? How will this "man in green" affect the fate of the worlds?
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** I think that Mr. L would be harder to get rid of than the game implies. Therefore, this! How will this "man in green" affect the worlds' destiny?

**Disclaimer: **lol not mine

**Chapter 6-3**

_Ow, my head._

Mr. L woke slowly, a quiet groan pulled from him due to a _pounding_ headache.

The only other time he had experienced such terrible pain, Count Bleck had personally seen to his well-being, which had been both flattering and humbling (then again, Mr. L was his _best_ minion, so perhaps it made sense).

Still, Mr. L had hoped that he'd never have to deal with such excruciating agony ever again. But, luck hadn't been with him lately, so perhaps it was just the universe's way of kicking him when he was down. It was certainly a move that one of the junior minions would have pulled.

Mr. L winced as he sat up, slowly taking inventory of his surroundings and his body. Wherever he was was gloomy and damp, with a wavering light source. The soft susurrus of water emitted from somewhere, and he got the distinct impression of being watched. He didn't see any animals and almost no plants, however, only rocks, so he was grateful to be sitting on a thick pile of moss. Being anywhere else would have probably resulted in broken things, which Mr. L was not fond of.

He was still pretty beaten up. He knew he was bruised, his clothes had small tears, and he felt a burn on his cheek.

_So…where is this place and how did I get here?_ Mr. L wondered and pushed himself to his feet. As he paced the rocky shelf, he stroked his mustache absently, sifting through his notoriously terrible memory for the answer.

When it finally hit him, Mr. L's hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, and he glowered at the floor. _When I find that clown next, I'm going to wring his neck! How _dare_ he try to kill me! The Green Thunder will _not_ forget this treachery!_

Mr. L immediately reached out and pressed his hand against the fabric of reality, hoping to just be able to _go home_ and mete out appropriate justice to the jester, but reality proved as inflexible as the stone that he stood on. Such was odd, but not entirely unexpected. Not with how much the universe had been hating him recently.

_Maybe it has something to do with wherever this is,_ he thought, annoyed. _Well, then. How do I get out?_

He jumped off the ledge he had been resting on, landing with a surprisingly soft thud. He remembered seeing a door in the gloom, faint though the outline had been. Doors tended to lead to places, and anywhere would be better then where he was. He leapt up onto the higher-than-it-really-needed-to-be outcropping, and as he brushed himself off, the door opened.

Mr. L found himself face-to-face with Jumpsallthetime, and they stared at each other in shocked silence.

"_You!_" Mr. L cried, his voice drowning out Jumpsallthetime's similar ejaculation.

Jumpsallthetime turned quickly on his heel, but Mr. L grabbed his forearm with his free hand, digging in his heels to keep the guy from going anywhere. "Oh, no you don't!"

A brief scuffle ensued, and Jumpsallthetime slipping on a slick patch of shale-y ground let Mr. L win.

"You know where this is," Mr. L semi-accused, pinning Jumpsallthetime to a dank, moldy wall.

Jumpsallthetime glared at him, although there was an odd uncertainty in his eyes. "So what if I do?" Jumpsallthetime replied sharply.

"You're taking me with you," Mr. L stated.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are, because I said so."

"I don't have to do anything for you. Your buddy Dimentio is the reason I'm here in the first place."

Mr. L startled. "Dimentio sent you here, too, did he?" Mr. L said, meeting Jumpsallthetime's stare with his own.

"Your own co-worker tried to kill you?" Jumpsallthetime said, obviously scandalized.

"Dimentio is an asshole," Mr. L said flatly. "He's just really good at pretending he isn't." Mr. L paused in thought. "Now, listen to me. I'm guessing you like being here as much as me—which means, not at all. So, I'll lend you the expertise and strength of the Green Thunder for as long as it takes to escape. Then we part ways, got it?"

_And maybe I can figure out why I keep on losing to this guy._

Jumpsallthetime seemed to consider Mr. L's offer of temporary teamwork.

"You're not going to betray me?" Jumpsallthetime asked.

Mr. L snorted. "That's a Dimentio move, not mine. I'll help you out until we get out of this place. Then we're enemies again. Deal?"

Jumpsallthetime seemed to be searching for something in him, and Mr. L waited with all the patience he could muster. He normally wasn't a patient man, but he would be if that was what it took to get this "hero of the prophecy" to help him out of a sticky situation.

Jumpsallthetime eventually sighed and said: "We're in The Underwhere, the place where those whose games are over end up."

"Right," Mr. L said, but nothing more. He knew that he was alive, just as he knew Jumpsallthetime was alive. They were simply both too strong to die to something as stupid as Dimentio's magic. "And we're going to escape back to the world of the living."

"If we can."

"We will," Mr. L asserted.

"Well, first we have to find someone named Luvbi as a favor to Queen Jaydes, who rules over this place."

"Fine. We get this Luvbi, return them to the Queen, and get sent back, yeah? What are we waiting for? Lead on, brave hero of prophecy."

_That_ earned him a semi-glare. "We're going to do some swimming," Jumpsallthetime warned as Mr. L let him free from the corner he had trapped Jumpsallthetime in.

"I suppose getting wet is a small price to pay for freedom," Mr. L sighed.

It felt oddly familiar following Jumpsallthetime, but someone else taking point was intolerable to Mr. L. The great and powerful Green Thunder would only cede point to Count Bleck—no-one else. So, he picked up his pace so he was walking beside Jumpsallthetime, who startled slightly.

"If you keep walking so slowly, I'm going to leave you behind to find Luvbi on my own," Mr. L said archly.

"Can _you_ move in another dimension?" Jumpsallthetime countered.

Mr. L waved dismissively. "What if your pudgy little legs can't get you over an obstacle, even in this _other_ _dimension_?"

"Remind me how many times you've won against me when we fight?"

Mr. L's eyes narrowed. "You're just lucky."

"No, I'm stronger than you."

"Are not!"

"Are too."

"Can _you_ build giant robots?"

"I don't need to compensate for anything."

"_Compensate_?!" Mr. L sputtered, and Jumpsallthetime gave him a small, smug smile.

The expression turned into one of surprise when a door opened onto a wall of water, which Mr. L shoved Jumpsallthetime into. From floating a few meters away, Jumpsallthetime gave him a rude gesture that made Mr. L grin before joining him.

The water was cold and murky, but that seemed to be the general theme for the area. He could see faint shapes floating in the water around them, and he found himself sticking close to Jumpsallthetime.

He justified it by strength-in-numbers instead of admitting that his surroundings were unnerving.

Jumpsallthetime abruptly vanished on him, and Mr. L bit down a snarl. _Fancy-shamnsy other dimension bullshit,_ he groused as he swam towards where he hoped the surface would be. He had good lung capacity, but even he had his limits.

A surprised cry met his ears and he turned about, looking in the gloom for where it might be coming from. Abruptly, Jumpsallthetime appeared, and three different white, skeletal hands were clamped on his body.

_Oh no you don't,_ Mr. L thought. _Jumpsallthetime can only be taken down by me._

A few well-placed kicks had Jumpsallthetime free, and it was obvious that his surprised exclamation had cost him a lot of air. Mr. L grabbed onto one of Jumpsallthetime's flailing arms and he swam as fast as he could with baggage. He had almost given up on breaking the surface when air hit his face, and he pulled Jumpsallthetime up, who took in deep, grateful gulps of air.

Mr. L hooked one arm under Jumpsallthetime's armpit and doggy-paddled to the nearest shore, which Jumpsallthetime grabbed onto with something close to desperation. Both men were panting hard, and Mr. L wasn't sure if he should feel proud or disappointed. Yes, he had saved someone's life, and that was commendable, but the life he saved belonged to an enemy of the Count's. _His _enemy.

_I promised to help until we escaped,_ Mr. L reminded himself, which eased his concerns slightly.

"Some hero you are," Mr. L panted, and Jumpsallthetime gave him a dirty glare.

The two eventually crawled out of the river, and Mr. L picked at the clothes that were stuck to his body. _I just know this is going to chafe. Wonderful._

Jumpsallthetime was wringing out his hat, a move that Mr. L mimicked, if only because he didn't want his hair to stay damp. He readjusted his cap, inwardly bemoaned the state of his mustache, then turned to Jumpsallthetime, who was looking at him intently.

"What?" Mr. L snapped.

"Nothing," Jumpsallthetime said. "I know your name, but do you know mine?"

"I never needed to know," Mr. L said dismissively.

"Well, it's Mario. I'm Mario."

Mr. L looked at the hand that was extended to him, trying to figure out how he should react. If any of the junior minions had done so, he would have taken a couple dozen steps back. This was the _hero_ though. Heroes didn't do things like play spiteful pranks, right?

So, Mr. L took Mario's hand and shook it once. "Mario. C'mon, let's get looking."

Mr. L was surprised when Mario's grip on his hand strengthened, and a sickening lurch changed Mr. L's entire perspective.

_He wasn't bullshitting about the other dimension thing?_ Mr. L thought as they easily moved through a barrier that had seemed impenetrable normally. True, Mario had said that he could shift dimensions, but Mr. L had ignored what that actually implied. When everything shifted back to normal, it was almost as unnerving.

He sneered, just to show that he wasn't impressed. So what? He knew he could jump higher and move faster than Mario, and had a technological know-how that was unrivaled.

They made their way slowly through the uncertain light, occasionally running into skeletal monsters that were easily disposed of, especially since Mr. L recognized them as the same breed of some of those who patrolled Castle Bleck. Sure, he might have gotten a spear to the butt once, but repaid the indignity with a fist to the face.

"So…Dimentio sent you here too? But, why? You guys both work for Count Bleck, don't you?" Mario said, breaking the silence. They had taken a moment to pause, since Mario had accidentally misjudged a jump and suffered a spike to the foot and Mr. L hadn't been _quite _fast enough to avoid a fireball.

Mr. L snorted. "_I_ work for Count Bleck. Dimentio has a habit of doing whatever he wants for any reason he deems right."  
Mario took a sip of a Shroom Shake as he regarded Mr. L. "So, he tried to kill you just because he felt like it?"

"Basically."

It wasn't like he was going to tell Mario the truth, that Dimentio had justified his attempt at murder by agreeing that Mr. L couldn't show his face to the Count after disobeying an order. It would be embarrassing, and likely would make the hero feel smug.

Mr. L was surprised when Mario offered him the last of the Shroom Shake.

"It isn't much, but it might help you a little."

Mr. L stared at Mario.

"What?" Mario asked, almost defensively.

"You're helping me," Mr. L said slowly.

"Well, yeah. We're working together, aren't we?" Mario replied.

Mr. L carefully took the shake from Mario and drank the remnants of it. He immediately felt a little better, the bruises from his scrape with Dimentio healing over.

Mr. L rolled his shoulders and said, "C'mon, let's get moving again."

Mario frowned. "What, no 'thank you'?"

"Did you really expect one?" Mr. L drawled. "Time's 'a wastin, hero. You want to save the worlds, right?"

Mario glowered at him, then brushed by Mr. L, who smirked faintly.

As he stomped onward, Mario stubbed his toe on a skeleton that was lying about, and Mr. L would have laughed at him if the skeleton hadn't abruptly come alive and started throwing bones at them.

_I'm learning to really hate this place,_ Mr. L thought sourly as they left a scorched truly-dead skeleton behind.

They two were brought up short when a large, pipe-like structure blocked their way. Mr. L knew that Mario would never be able to make it if they had to go over it, and was sort-of hoping that there wasn't a way around it in the other dimension. It would certainly make him feel better that a special power wouldn't help Mario clear _all_ obstacles.

Mario faded out of sight before reappearing, frustration clear on his features, which made Mr. L smirk.

"Can't get around?" Mr. L asked smugly.

Mario gave him a dirty look. "I'll find a way."

Mr. L looked up at the pipe-like structure that was blocking their way, hummed, crouched, and then sprang up just in time to knock a piranha plant out of the way.

Mr. L looked down from his perch on top of the pipe and felt a strange kind of spiteful happiness at being able to lord his position and skill over the supposed hero of the Light Prognosticus. Still, he wanted to get out and he wanted to go _home_, and that necessitated working with Mario. Unfortunately.

Mr. L leaned over, found a solid grasp on the structure with his left hand, then extended his right down to the hero. "Come on, I don't have all day."

Mario gave him a wary look, but jumped up as high as he could. Mr. L caught his forearm as Mario braced himself on the pipe. Through their combined efforts, Mario was soon sitting on top of the pipe, both he and Mr. L breathing hard.

_This is a worthy challenge indeed!_ Mr. L thought, a grin tugging at his lips.

"What are you so happy about?"

Mr. L looked at Mario and the grin that had threatened bloomed. "This isn't going to be easy."

Mario gave him a look that clearly communicated that he didn't entirely see how that made Mr. L happy, but Mr. L slid off the pipe and onto the ground. "Come on. I hear terrible, off-key singing ahead, if you can call it _singing._ Maybe that's what we're looking for."

Out of the dim light, a figure appeared. Mr. L initially thought it a mutant butterfly, and as they approached, he wasn't entirely disabused on the notion. Its body was a pale pink-and-tan, and a strange swirl-like hairdo/antennae stuck out of the left side of a perfectly spherical head. It seemed to be using its "wings" as hands, and had absolutely no sense of pitch.

"Oh, hurry…Hasten to meee, sweeet prince," it screeched, and Mr. L rubbed his ears. _If this thing is what we have to find, perhaps it's better off lost._

Mario approached the creature and coughed emphatically before saying, "Hello."

The creature looked down, and a look of distaste formed on its face. "Foulness! An aging man of mustache grim returneth! Talk not to me as though we have met! Speak, now! What dost thou want of me?"

Mr. L said, "What do you have against mustaches?" as Mario replied: "I was asked to find you."

The thing glared at Mr. L, who gave it a jaunty smirk, before the creature turned its attention back to Mario. "Thou came hither to find me? Pah! As if I would consort with a face so behaired! I await a handsome prince. Understand? PRINCES ONLY."

"What if _all_ Princes have mustaches?" Mr. L asked drolly.

The creature looked irritated. "No Prince of mine shall ever be so hairy!"

Mr. L crossed his arms and sneered. "I bet you want one, don't you?"

"_What?"_

"You can't help but want a mustache yourself, can you? I will admit that I have a particularly impressive one, so it's understandable that you'd have mustache envy."

The creature gaped at him, flushing scarlet in anger.

"A rather _princely_ mustache, if I must say so myself," Mr. L continued slyly.

"Thou art no prince!" the creature yelled.

"How do you know I'm not?"

"Nay! Nay! Such foulness!" the creature cried. "The very thought cannot be abided! I cannot date a man so old and unpleasant to the eye."

Mr. L bristled and rolled up his sleeves. "Are you calling me ugly? Come down here so the Green Thunder can teach you some respect!"

"Thou shall have no respect from me!"

"So, not only are you tone-deaf you're also a coward?"

"L…"

Mr. L whirled on Mario and poked him in the chest. "Stay out of this. And the name is _Mr._ L!"

His attention snapped back to the creature who still floated beyond his reach atop a pipe. He made a rude, taunting gesture and said, "_You_ are the ugly one!"

The creature was vibrating with fury.

"You—you—hairy, disgusting, uncouth old man!" the creature cried, and Mr. L would have sworn he saw tears in the corners of its beady eyes.

"Luvbi…" Mario said, finally getting a word in during the tight, angry silence.

Luvbi shifted her attention to Mario, her mouth dropping open slightly. "WHAT? H-H-How hast thou come by the knowledge of my name? No…Doth this mean…thou art my Prince…?"

"See? Told you that princes had mustaches," Mr. L said with malicious good cheer.

"No! It cannot be! I must return to mother!"

The two watched Luvbi fly away and Mr. L gave Mario a cheeky grin. "Well, that went well."

"You probably ruined any chance I had of getting back to Flipside and finding my friends," Mario grumbled.

Mr. L waved the concern aside. "It'll be _fine_. And if it isn't, we'll find a way back some other way."

The two traveled in silence, Mario obviously worried. Mr. L had no doubt that they would be returned, however—if not because they had found Luvbi, then to get rid of them. It was a win-win situation, and it was only because Mario had the blinders of being a "good guy" that he didn't recognize it.

Neither of them were particularly enthusiastic about returning to the river, and even less about swimming in it, so hired the ferryman to take them to the other side.

"How did Dimentio win against you? You've defeated him before, and you beat _me_, so you obviously could have stomped him," Mr. L asked Mario.

Mario crossed his arms and glared across the expanse of purple water. "He surprised us. He found us in Flipside, inside the home of a friend of ours, and caught us in his magic before we could react."

Mr. L grunted. _Sounds like something he'd do._

After they disembarked, they approached a large, columned structure, and Mr. L observed both it and its inhabitants with distant curiosity. He wasn't planning on ever coming back, but that didn't stop it from being interesting. He had a feeling he'd need all the knowledge he could get, anyway.

_One day, I will succeed at tossing Dimentio into this place,_ he thought as they approached a female swathed in purple and black.

"HA! At last thou appearest, foul, hairy creatures! Thou art no princes! Thou art LIARS! Thou approachest me at my mother's behest!" Luvbi cried, and Mr. L noted that she made no mention of their spat.

"Luvbi!" the woman (whom Mr. L assumed was Queen Jaydes) admonished. "Mind your manners. You know this all happened because you wandered off without permission! Now! Apologize to these nice men at once!"

Mr. L wondered what story Luvbi had told her mother, that he would be lumped under 'nice,' and it seemed Mario was having the same thoughts from the incredulous look he shot Mr. L.

Luvbi hovered over to them, looking only slightly contrite.

"Um, yea…" she started. "So, ummm, yea, I am sorry…that thou art so hairy."

"For the love of…just admit it, Luvbi, you want one of these bad boys," Mr. L said, running his fingers over his mustache.

Luvbi stiffened in indignation, while the Queen managed to look amused. "Her father does have a rather impressive beard."

"Mother!" Luvbi sputtered. "Dost thou truly agree with this heathen?"

"I think your apology was lacking politeness," the Queen replied primly. "But, I am truly thankful that you have returned Luvbi to me. She had us all so very worried." The Queen fixed her gaze on Mario. "Mario. Please accept this as a sign of my eternal thanks. Here."

Out of nowhere, a Pure Heart appeared, and Mr. L barely kept himself from lunging at it and stealing it for himself. Afterall, he had no place to putit and was unable to return to Castle Bleck from The Underwhere.

_I'll wait until we get back to the land of the living. Then, it will be mine! I'll take it to the Count, and he'll have to forgive me, since I will be keeping the Heart from being used by our enemies._

"I have power over life and death, you see," the Queen elaborated, "And I was able to use that power to restore this Pure Heart. I know not how you found it, but this Pure Heart shows that fate is on your side. Take good care of it."

Mario nodded solemnly and reached out for the Heart, taking it gently out of midair. It glowed agonizingly brightly, and the light seemed to try to reach into the deeper, hidden parts of Mr. L's soul, but all it managed to do was alleviate the pain of the headache that still plagued him.

"And, by the way, it may please you to know that your game is not truly over. Somehow, you were sent to The Underwhere while still very much alive…" the Queen trailed off and looked between them both. "My power can return you to your world, if you so wish. What would you like to do?"

"Leave! I want to leave! Get me _out_ of here," Mr. L replied heatedly. "I don't belong here and you know it."

The Queen looked to Mario, who nodded, the gesture as emphatic as Mr. L's words.

"Then I shall return you," Queen Jaydes replied.

The air felt tight as power gathered around the woman, and Mr. L felt it tugging at his still-damp clothing. It built around him and Mario, and it felt almost like when Dimentio had transported him from one dimension to another.

Reality shifted and snapped, and Mr. L suddenly found himself in a brighter, clearer place. He saw a series of brightly colored doors lining a corridor, and abruptly gravity turned on again, which told him he had been in mid-air. Mr. L landed on his feet, a skill he had learned from one too many run-ins with O'Chunk's volatile temper; however, Mario faceplanted onto the pavement, which made Mr. L snicker.

"I would have expected more skill from the hero who is destined to save all the worlds," Mr. L snarked, which earned him a glare once Mario was sitting up.

_So this is the place between worlds,_ Mr.L thought as he looked around, his eyes resting on the void that grew larger with every breath.

"Mario, you're alive!"

Mr. L looked over to where the voice had come from to see a strange, bearded man rushing over, a pixl butterfly leading the way.

"M-Mario?!" the white-bearded man said. "But, I saw Dimentio end your game...Then Tippi said you were here, so I thought I'd come and take a look, but…" The man shook his head in amazement. "Wow…you're truly alive…"

Mr. L was annoyed that he was being completely ignored, and had the itching feeling that he had experienced such before.

_I refuse to be ignored,_ Mr. L thought._ Never again._

"I hate to ruin this _touching_ reunion," Mr. L drawled, pulling the attention to him, "but I guess I should thank you, Mario, for your scintillating company."

"Y-you!" the butterfly cried out, and Mr. L gave her a grin.

"The one and only Green Thunder—Mr. L!" Mr. L laughed at the slightly disbelieving looks on their faces, chalking them up to being unused to basking in such brilliance. "I'm sure you'll be thrilled to know that without me, Mario here would've been stuck in the Underwhere forever, but no need to thank me. I'll leave you to your teary hellos." Mr. L walked over to the edge of the platform, gave the trio a cocky grin, and said: "L-ater, losers."

With that, Mr. L jumped off the edge of the platform, grinning in exhilaration as the ground rushed up towards him. He landed safely, crouching to absorb the impact, with the tiny bit of Cout Bleck's power that had been bestowed to him cutting any damage done by the fall by 90 percent.

He stood, the villagers ignoring him entirely, which made him twitch. A dramatic entrance _surely_ should garner some notice.

_They're probably used to the hero's coming and going, so perhaps someone falling out of the sky isn't as surprising as it should be._

Mr. L wandered until he found a place where people wouldn't interrupt him as he cast a portal to Castle Bleck. He had gotten it wrong once, and that had _not_ been fun. Mimi had mocked him for days before he had gotten his revenge.

_She really needs to lock her room,_ Mr. L thought, smirking at the memory.

Mr. L reached out and pressed his hand against the fabric of the universe—only to find that he couldn't sink even his pinky into it.

_I have the coordinates right, I _know_ where Castle Bleck is. I went back and forth until I knew its signature inside out. Maybe this spot isn't a good one for inter-dimensional travel…? But, it should be. This place is in between dimensions! If inter-dimensional travel is capable anywhere, it is here._

Mr. L wandered around the entire town and even managed to find a completely different town that was connected to it, but nowhere worked.

_Why?_ Mr. L thought and struck the fabric in an attempt to relieve his anger, but all it did was make his fist sting. _Why can't I get through?_

He rubbed the back of his neck before pausing.

_Wait. My key…where is it?_

Mr. L took off his neckerchief and searched his shirt. _I can't have lost it! I told the Count I wouldn't!_

He took off his shirt to make sure it wasn't just sticking to his chest, and even patted himself down, hoping it had somehow dropped into a pocket.

"_Dead men don't need keys, do they?"_

Mr. L froze after putting his clothes backon. "Dimentio," he whispered, rage lacing his voice. "I am going to murder him. He is a _dead_ magician. None of his tricks will save him from my wrath."

Mr. L paced the length of the town (which he had learned was called Flopside), wracking his brain as to how to return to the Castle, when a familiar red shirt pulled him up short.

"Mario," Mr. L said flatly, not in the mood to engage in a witty _tête__-__à__-__tête_ with the hero of the universe.

"What's wrong?" the hero asked.

"None of your business," Mr. L snapped. "Shouldn't you be off searching for the next Pure Heart?"

Mario looked askance before saying: "I need your help."

Mr. L frowned. "What?"

"I need your help," Mario repeated. "And I bet you need mine, right?"

Mr. L crossed his arms, sneering. "I don't need anyone's help."

"You can't get home, can you?"

Mr. L glared at the butterfly-pixl. "I don't see how that is your concern."

"Maybe it has something to do with Flopside," Mario said. "Maybe, in the next world that is opened, you'll be able to go back to your home."

The idea gave Mr. L pause. _It _is_ a possibility…_

"So, I have to help you with something and then you'll help me."

"That's the idea."

Mr. L stroked his mustache thoughtfully. "Fine. But, no telling me what to do. I'm only helping you because you need the mighty Green Thunder on your side. I'm not your ally and I'm definitely not your friend."

Mario seemed strangely hurt by the statement. "Fine. Now, c'mon, I need you to help me with the Heart Pillar."

"Very well, very well, lead on," Mr. L said and fell into step beside Mario. "This had better work."

"It will," Mario asserted and flipped them into the third dimension.

A few more sickening lurches later, Mr. L found himself looking up at an impressively tall pillar.

"Well, I can see why you need my help. Those stubby legs of yours couldn't hope to get over it."

The butterfly was the one who sputtered in indignation as Mr. L coiled and leapt so he was on top of the white wall of stone. "Now, give me the Pure Heart."

Mario tossed the crystalline thing up at him, and Mr. L caught it easily. It glowed softly in his hands and something deep within him rebelled against its very existence.

_There is nothing pure in this world, love is an illusion,_ a darkness within him crooned. _Better to spare all life the pain of existence._

Mr. L was sorely tempted to just let it drop into the nothingness, but doing so would mean that the next world would never be opened and he would never get home. So, he jumped down to the other side and placed the Pure Heart in the white pillar.

"A new door has opened!" the butterfly exclaimed.

"Then let's get going. You have no time to lose if you want to save all the worlds," Mr. L said once he had jumped back over.

"And we need to find Peach and Bowser. If you survived, I'm sure they did, too," the butterfly added, and Mario nodded solemnly.

Mr. L was surprised when Mario actually _did_ lead him up to the new door. He had honestly expected to be left high and dry, but instead he was standing beside the purported hero of the Light Prognosticus, the door to the last world and Pure Heart before them.

"Well, _come on_," Mr. L said, stepped forward, and pushed open the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author:** Chapter 7-1 in the game is amazingly short. Thus, this is short.

**Disclaimer:** Lol nope

**Chapter 7-1**

"It is so dark in here…I wonder what kind of world this is," the butterfly, whom Mr. L had learned was named Tippi, said.

Mr. L glared at their surroundings. _Oh, just fantastic._

"Mario, what's wrong?" Tippi asked, as Mario was obviously also unhappy to be back in the Underwhere.

"_This_ is the Underwhere," Mario said.

"It's cold and dank and dark and smelly and _why are we back here?_ I can't get back to the Castle from here! This is absolute shit!" Mr. L ranted, hitting the fabric of reality in anger, causing a small ripple. "Stupid Pure Hearts."

"What did you just do?" Tippi demanded, and Mr. L frowned at her.

"What, this?" Mr. L asked and knocked on the dimensional fabric.

"Yes!"

"How do you think I _found_ you_?_" Mr. L drawled. "All of Count Bleck's minions can travel across dimensions."

"He can do that?" Mario asked.

"Count Bleck is the harbinger of the Dark Prognosticus—of _course_ he can," Mr. L replied haughtily.

"Right," Mario said slowly. "Well, since it doesn't seem to be working, all we can do is keep moving forward."

Mr. L agreed, so started walking, Mario catching up with him after a breath. The sooner they got out of the Underwhere, the sooner he could go home.

A woefully familiar pillared building rose out of the gloom, and Mr. L muttered darkly, Mario seeming to agree with his discontentment.

They approached the Queen once more, obviously of the same mind—maybe it would be as easy as it was before: ask for the Pure Heart and receive it.

Of course, that was merely wishful thinking. Mr. L was sure the universe wasn't done with being spiteful yet.

"Greetings. Welcome to the…" the Queen began, but trailed off when she recognized them. "Wait, why have you returned?

"You're Queen Jaydes? My name is Tippi; I'm a friend of Mario's. We…we've come to find the Pure heart that is hidden in this world." Tippi said, and Mr. L thought they could've gone without the introduction. Still, it seemed as if Mario was happy to let someone else do the talking for him.

Mr. L felt he understood a little bit—he knew he wouldn't be able to be as polite as Tippi. _His_ introduction would have been, "Give us your Pure Heart _now_ or else you will feel the full might of the Green Thunder!" However, as that would definitely not endear him to Queen Jaydes, and thus nullify his chances at going home, he kept his mouth shut.

The queen gasped. "What?! You are collecting Pure Hearts? Hmm…now that I take a long look at you…I realize you just might be the heroes mentioned in the Prognosticus...but, could you really be the ones?"

Mr. L was made wary by the plural _heroes._ He didn't want anyone to get the idea that he was a good guy—he was doing everything for Count Bleck, even if it seemed like he was helping out the hero. He _would_ see the Count's plan completed—his current situation was simply a temporary setback.

"So, does that mean you have a Pure Heart for us, Queen Jadyes?" Tippi asked, and Mr. L had the distinct feeling that the pixl was equally confused at the inclusion of Mr. L as a _hero._

The queen hesitated and turned away from them. "The location of the Pure Heart is a matter of utmost secrecy, I am afraid. There is nothing I can tell you." She seemed torn for a moment before she sighed and said, "If you really must know, you will have to speak to Grambi, the king of the Overthere."

"Inventive names," Mr. L drawled. "Underwhere and Overthere. Whomever chose those was obviously _brilliant_."

The queen frowned and was about to reply when a familiar, high-pitched voice cut in.

"MOTHER! My things are packed and checked thrice! I am ready to return to the Overthere." Luvbi abruptly noticed he and Mario, genuine surprise and annoyance manifesting on her features. "Oh, me! Thou returnest! Did thy game truly end this time?"

"An idea strikes…" the queen murmured, looking between Mr. L, Mario, and Luvbi. "Could you fine heroes take Luvbi back to the Overthere for me?"

"Take her back?" Tippi asked as Mr. L cried, "NO!"

"Why ever would you need us to do a thing like that?" the pixl continued as Mr. L seethed.

"A monster was once held beneath here…but a recent earthquake freed it. Once it escaped its prison, it began to wander this realm freely. Of course, I could never send my daughter alone with such a savage beast on the loose. If you would take her back, I would gladly open the path to the Overthere for you. I will also alert Grambi that you are coming to ask him about the Pure Heart. What say you? This is a fair bargain…"

"No," Mr. L said flatly. "I refuse to play babysitter. That's not a job worthy of the Green Thunder!"

Luvbi flushed. "Trust in this: I take no joy in it either! But Mother says dost it, so thou DOST IT."

Mr. L was about to reply, but Mario cut in first: "We'll do it," the man in red said, throwing Mr. L a warning look.

"…I thank you," the Queen said, obviously relieved. "With this monster about, my D-Men and I are busy trying to contain the damage."

The Queen turned, made a sweeping gesture, and a door materialized out of the gloom, making Mr. L scowl. _If she can make portals, why can't I? Even without the key it should be possible…_

"Just go through this door and keep heading upward to reach the Overthere," the Queen said, "and make sure Luvbi arrives safely in the care of Grams—I mean, Grambi."

"But avert thine eyes whilst we climb, lest thou succumbeth to my cuteness," Luvbi said slyly, which made Mr. L roll his eyes.

"You better not start singing again—or maybe you should, it'd definitely drive away any monsters."

"Mr. L, " Mario said sharply as a reminder that they were still within earshot of Queen Jaydes.

Mr. L waved the concern away and opened the door. "Come on, the sooner we get her to the Overthere, the sooner we'll be free of her."

Mr. L turned around after taking a few steps into the gloom to see Luvbi obviously teasing Tippi, which made him sigh.

_Why do I have a parade of stupid things following me?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author: **I'm updating this rather quickly because it's all written and stuff and I kinda want it out there because it's hard to edit something I've already read over a bajillion times :/

**Disclaimer: **hahahahahaha

**Chapter 7-2**

"I sought a prince, but nay, what I found were ancient men of hairy cheek," Luvbi lamented. "Twas a horror, yea, one that left my breath stricken in my throat."

"I'll make sure your breath never leaves your throat again if you don't shut up," Mr. L replied. "Stupid thing."

"I am _not_ a thing! I am a Nimbi, fairest of my folk."

"Then you all are really ugly."

"_Thou_ art the ugly one!"

"You just can't appreciate true masculine beauty."

"Thou cocky pig!"

"Sure, sure, resort to silly insults because you know it's true."

Luvbi abruptly flew past him, giving him a smug look.

"Hasten thy chubby legs! Time waits not for those who slack!"

Mr. L glared at Luvbi and picked up his pace. "I'll show you chubby legs."

Luvbi knew where she was going anyway, and if Mario got lost, then he obviously wasn't meant to be a hero.

Mr. L gave Luvbi a glower, which she returned, as they were brought up short by a door.

"Why do you speak like that?" Mr. L asked.

"Pardon?"

"With all the –ayeth and –doth? Just speak plainly, it'll make it easier on all of us."

"Thou art the one with the strange speech," she replied. "Thy words are as crass as thy manner."

Mr. L crossed his arms. "At least your mom spoke normally. Guess that means she's crass as well, huh?"

"How dare you insult mine mother so!"

However, Mario quickly caught up with them, and Mr. L was annoyed that his arrival diffused what was sure to have been an incredibly fun argument.

"Herein lies the way out of the Underwhere. This is Underwhere Road," Luvbi said, turning her attention to the 'hero'.

"So if we proceed ever upward, we'll eventually reach The Overthere?" Tippi asked.

"Duh," Mr. L replied dryly.

"Ugh, my heart weepeth to return to the Overthere without meeting my one true love," Luvbi sighed before turning her attention to the pixl. "Pray, speakest to me, Tippi. Believest thou in the idea of a soul mate?"

Tippi hedged the question, which made a glimmer of mischief appear in Luvbi's beady eyes.

"I shall mark that as one vote for undecided. Or perhaps I should say "unrequited" in thy case. Ha HA!"

Tippi sputtered at the implication she was making, and while Mr. L wasn't certain what that implication was, he didn't really care.

"Sweet Tippi! How simple it is to tweak thy chain! So, now I must forge onward. Catchest me if thou canst!"

"I am going to kill her when I catch up with her," Mr. L said and dashed after her, only to be brought up short by the pitch-black darkness.

"Mr. L, don't go too far ahead," Mario said, and Mr. L waited for the hero, trying to pierce the gloom. "We should stick together."

Mr. L nodded. "So that we can _both_ give that creature a talking-to when we catch up with her."

Mr. L found the dark oddly comforting. It reminded him of the Castle with its monochrome and flickering black lights, and he found himself relaxing as he bounded from platform to platform, following the ephemeral glimpses of Luvbi. He _was_ brought up short by a Dark Boo appearing before him, and an unfamiliar and unwelcome all-consuming panic washed over him at the sight of the ghost. He was broken out of his frozen state when Mario destroyed the paranormal creature, and Mr. L found he could breathe again.

"Are you okay?" Mario asked.

Mr. L harrumphed and looked up towards where he had seen Luvbi last. "I'm fine. Just was a little startled." Mario gave him a look he couldn't interpret before they started off again.

When they caught up, Luvbi was hovering close to a door but not going through, giving them a patient, bland look. Mr. L approached the door and tried to open it, but found it wouldn't budge even when he put all his strength into it.

"Tippi, could you take a look at the door?" Mario asked once Mr. L was muttering curses instead of attacking the door.

"This door, it's not an ordinary door—"

"Halt! What's this, then? Travelers have come?" the door said.

Abruptly the door grew eyes and a jagged mouth, and Mr. L's eyebrows shot up.

_Interesting…_

"Now! Queen Jaydes demanded that I guard this door, people! I'm Dorguy the First."

The moment the door mentioned acting as a gatekeeper, Mr. L immediately lost interest and let Mario deal with how to get through.

_Stupid door is stupid,_ Mr. L thought as he looked down at the yawning emptiness that they had come from. Out of the murk, a skeletal hand crept its way up to him and he took a number of quick steps back and left through the door that Mario had convinced to let them through.

Mr. L was almost blinded when the area they exited into was well-lit.

There were two doors in the corridor: one locked, and one guarded by three D-men.  
The locked door was more interesting than the guarded one, since he could theoretically pick the lock. Behind him he heard Mario and Tippi strike up a conversation with the creatures.

"We simply must reach The Overthere, but we don't know which way it is," Tippi implored.

Mr. L ignored the conversation in favor of poking at the lock, but a phrase immediately caught his attention, given that he was having no luck with the lock:

"So, if you can tame it, we can open that door for you. Wanna give it a shot?"

"Sure!" Mr. L cut in, hiding his lock-picking tools. "Let's do this!"

The D-Man laughed. "I was just messing with you. Seriously, no one would be dumb enough to…wait, did you just say yes?"

"Did I stutter?"

"Are you NUTS? Y-y-y-you're serious? You actually think you can tame that beast?"

The second D-Man looked at his compatriots. "Well, hey, yeah, great idea. Sounds like a smart plan. Tell you what, you head on in and I'll mail your mustache to your next of kin!"

"Look, my prediction?" said the third. "Your game's about to end. If not, we'll help you on your way. Give it a shot, champ!"

"Mr. L, the Green Thunder, loses to no-one!" he said and pushed open the doors immediately after they were unlocked, Mario following a step behind. Impenitrable darkness greeted him initially, but scones on the wall lit one by one, and the roars and thuds stopped within stopped.

In the far corner was a familiar form, a spiked shell protecting a large body.

"Bowser?" Mario said, and the name immediately clicked with some of Mr. L's hazy memories from the time _before_ they had met in the Whoa Zone.

He had been frightened of Bowser before the Whoa Zone—now he just found the Koopa annoying.

"Where am I?!" the brute whined. "And why do these jerks in shades keep jumping me? And what's with the dark?! And Peach isn't here! And I'm hungry! What did I do to deserve this!?"

Mario coughed emphatically, which drew the attention of Bowser.

"Hey! Mario! And Tippi?" he cried out. "Just you? Where's Peach?

"We don't know yet. We're looking for her too," Tippi said.

"Hey! What am _I_?" Mr. L protested.

Bowser frowned. "Yeah, what _are_ you?"

"Oh, no you shouldn't've—" Tippi began, but it was too late to stop Mr. L's introduction.

"I am Mr. L, the Green Thunder!" Mr. L cried giving the overgrown turtle his signature entry pose.

"What are _you_ doing with _him_?" Bowser asked, indicating Mario.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Mr. L said.

"So you weirdos are here, but Peach isn't? So, what you're telling me is that she's definitely not here. I don't like this one bit." Bowser frowned at the floor before an idea dawned on him. "Aha! I see your little plan! You wanna break up what me and Peach have going!"

"I get the feeling this guy is delusional," Mr. L said in a stage whisper.

"You're one to talk," Tippi replied.

Mr. L's eyes narrowed. "I wonder if it's possible to tear the wings off of a butterfly pixl…"

"We have a bit of a _problem_ here," Mario said.

"Yeah, you've been waiting for a chance to fireball me in the back!" Bowser concluded.

"No, no, it's nothing like that," Mario said, attempting to placate the large beast.

"Uh, no," Tippi sassed. "We truly don't know where Peach is. We merely—"

"Can it, you ugly little bug. I'll stomp the truth out of you! CHARGE!"

Mr. L grinned. "How exciting! HAVE AT YOU!"

Mr. L jumped into the battle, and found that he somehow became bait, distracting the giant reptile while Mario planted the pixl Boomer on the ground and detonated it every time Bowser stepped over it. It was slightly demeaning, but Mr. L had been itching for a battle, so even a small scuffle was entertaining and, in an odd way, relaxing.

"You're not so tough," Mr. L taunted as he jumped back from a gout of fire. "You're slow a well as stupid."

Bowser roared and charged him. However, every time the 'bad guy' came close, Mr. L would bound out of the way, and even if the reptile tried to jump up after him, Mr. L was always just _slightly_ out of his reach.

"What's the matter, fatty? Those puny legs of yours sure are weak."

"Stop moving and I'll show you who's _weak!_"

The spikes on his back looked like they would hurt, which was why Mr. L was happy to run Bowser in circles. Mr. L knew he had Bowser seeing red, and a well-placed Boomer finally brought Bowser down. He collapsed on the floor, body and ego both bruised.

"Dang! Why do I always lose? What is WRONG with me?" Bowser whined.

"Because you're weak," Mr. L said simply. "You'll _never_ win against the likes of me."

"I get up every time, though," Bowser growled, pushing himself to his feet. "As many times as it takes to send my enemies to the Underwhere!"

"Bowser, I'm sorry to break this to you…but we're already there," Tippi said, and Mr. L rolled his eyes at Bowser's obvious astonishment.

"What? What are you talking about? Do I _look_ like a guy whose game is over?"

"You and Mario were sent here, to the land of ended games…to the Underwhere. We didn't know what had happened to any of you, not just Peach."

"What? So, wait, Peach really is lost out there somewhere?" Bowser asked.

Mario nodded.

"Hello, Captain Obvious," Mr. L drawled, but his sarcasm appeared to be lost on Bowser.

"Why didn't you say so, idiot?! We could've been searching this entire time!" Bowser protested. "What're you waiting for? Let's move!"

Mr. L watched Bowser stomp on by and sneered. "Aw, how _touching_, the big bad Bowser worrying over Miss Pink and Frilly."

"He seems to have a heart, unlike _you_," Tippi accused. "You don't care about anyone, do you?"

Mr. L stiffened in indignation and answered, "My loyalty and my life belong to Count Bleck." He exited behind Mario, and closed the door quickly enough to trap Tippi inside.

"Hey, it's you! And your game isn't over…did you run away or something?" one of the D-Men asked.

"The Green Thunder never retreats!" Mr. L said, giving them a victory pose.

"What?! You _beat_ it?! Seriously? No way!"

"Oh ye of little faith," Mr. L drawled, and Mario sighed, having opened the door to let a disgruntled Tippi out.

"Man, I can't believe it. Wow, uh, thanks! You're a real prime go-getter, pal! This key'll open the door that connects to the Overthere!"

Mario reached out to take the key from the D-Man, but Mr. L swiped it before Mario's fingers even came close to it.

_Onward and upward,_ Mr. L thought as he unlocked the door, ignoring the conversation occurring behind him.

The room the door opened to was cloaked in shadows, the light from the corridor only penetrating the smallest bit. He stepped aside when he heard Bowser approaching, and Bowser proved to be actually useful when an attempt to singe Mr. L lit a number of torches, giving them a good view of their surroundings.

Mr. L looked up and sighed softly.

_You know, I'm kind of glad I pissed off O'Chunks so much. Helped my endurance._

"Well, this'll make things easier," Mr. L said and jumped up to the closest platform, right on Luvbi's metaphorical tail.

"Thou art persistent, that is certain," Luvbi said, and Mr. L smirked.

"Seems like you're slowing down—don't tell me little Luvbi is afraid of the dark?"

Luvbi sniffed at him. "My _mother_ is Queen of this place."

"Doesn't mean she can't have a daughter who is a wuss."

"Take that back, thou heathen!"

Mr. L grinned. "Make me."

Luvbi vibrated in anger and glared at him.

"Ya can't hurt me, can you?" Mr. L sneered. "Now I see why your mother needed to have someone acting as bodyguard. Can't have your fragile little wings getting bent out of shape."

"Thou art yet mortal, swine, and shouldst thou fall, thine game shall be over."

"But then who would you have to talk to?" Mr. L said cheerfully.

Luvbi stared at him. "Doth thou ever speaketh truly?"

"Verily, I say unto you, I am a compulsive liar."

Mr. L bounded between the platforms, waiting for Bowser and Mario when the dark became too thick for him to see the next step. They were getting higher and higher, and Mr. L didn't want to court actually becoming a denizen of the Underwhere, no matter how he taunted Luvbi.

"Come on, how have you managed to save so many worlds when you're so _slow_?" Mr. L said, and dodged another burst of fire from Bowser.

"Thou doth not possesseth much regard for thine companions."

"I don't have much regard for you either, you know."

Luvbi gave him a dry look. "I wouldst have never guessed."

They reached the top in short order, Mr. L barely keeping himself free from the paralyzing fear each time a Boo appeared. He couldn't appear weak, _especially_ in front of Bowser. He let out a quiet huff of relief when he finally was standing on the final platform. _I'll be happy if I never have to see stairs ever again, but I know I'm not gonna be that lucky—we _are_ supposed to be heading upward, and that usually means stairs._

Luvbi and he waited at the door, which Mr. L had discovered he was unable to open.

"You're actually important, aren't you, ugly, if the Queen of the Underwhere recruited us to protect you," Mr. L said as he watched Bowser struggling up the platforms.

"I _am_ her daughter," Luvbi drawled. "And Grambi is mine father."

"You look nothing like her. Sure you weren't adopted?"

"How darest thou—!"

The argument _in potentia_ was averted by Bowser and Mario reaching them. Bowser had to catch his breath upon reaching the platform, and Mario appeared mildly annoyed at how much faster Mr. L and Luvbi insisted on going.

"This door…it looks like Dorguy the First from earlier…" Tippi began.

"Halt! Who is this? Travelers have come?"

Abruptly the door manifested eyes and a mouth, and Mr. L groaned dramatically.

_Stupid gatekeeping thingies,_ Mr. L thought and gave Bowser a side-long look.

_Well, then, I have to keep myself occupied somehow, right?_

"You know, you really are a pathetic excuse for a villain," Mr. L said off-handedly to Bowser, which made Bowser give him a glare, Mario busy with the gate's quizzes.

"You're not terribly impressive. Look at those scrawny legs and arms. You couldn't even put a scratch on me back there," Bowser retorted.

Mr. L shrugged. "I didn't need to."

"You can't win without hurting someone!"

Mr. L looked at him and gave him a smirk. "So primitive. Tire you out, make you use up all your fire—then what? You're as helpless as a turtle on its back."

Bowser stiffened and his nostrils flared, tiny tendrils of smoke curling out of them.

"Oh, scary face," Mr. L drawled. "I'm quivering in my shoes."

"You're nothing compared to the might of Bowser!" Bowser said. "You had to rely on your mechanical things to fight, you don't have the guts for one-on-one!"

Mr. L rolled his eyes. "Oh, _please_. I didn't fight you one-on-one because it wouldn't've be fair because you're so slow and stupid."

"Why you little—!"

Mr. L looked beyond Bowser to see the door opening for Mario. He ducked around a clumsy strike from Bowser and whistled innocently when Mario gave him a reproachful look.

"What? Admit it—you think it's funny."

"Insulting the people you're working with isn't funny at all," Tippi chided, and Mr. L quickly caught her in a light grip.

"Listen, Pixl. When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. Save your advice for Mario."

Mr. L let her go, and walked through the open the door, the other party members following behind.

The bright hallway revealed two doors—a locked one, and a bright pink one that had hearts carved into the wood.

"You go ahead," Mr. L said and walked over to the lock. "See if you can find anything useful in there. I'm gonna try to unlock this."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Bowser snapped.

Mr. L gave him a pointed look. "Then stop acting like a junior minion."

"A _what_?"

"You certainly haven't proven yourself to be heroic at all," Mr. L said as he examined the lock. "And you're not much of a villain, so you're a junior minion."

"Y-you…! Fine! I'll show you…!"

Mr. L smirked as Bowser stomped off into the room concealed by the pink doors, leaving him alone with Mario.

"Do you _have_ to antagonize him?" Mario asked.

Mr. L shrugged. "Why not? He gets angry so easily, it's hilarious."

"You said you'd _help_ me."

"And I am," Mr. L said as he took out his lock-picking kit. "Luvbi moves too fast for you to follow, so I show you the way and do you the favor of taking out any enemies that appear to block the way." Mr. L paused as he flipped through his ring. "Or at least distract them. I can see how your flipping into another dimension is useful."

Silence fell between them as Mr. L tried to figure out what kind of lock he was facing.

"What does the L stand for?"

"Hm?"

"The L in Mr. L. What does it stand for?"

Mr. L cast a look over his shoulder and said, "Does it have to mean anything?"

"Just asking…you kind of remind me of someone."

"Then you're very lucky to have had the pleasure of meeting someone like me before," Mr. L replied as he moved on to another pick.

"You wouldn't happen to know anyone named Luigi?"

Mr. L shook his head. "No, but it's a good name. Strong, has a nice ring to it."

Mario hummed, and they both ignored Bowser as he went stomping by, a book held between his claws.

Mr. L could tell that Mario was disappointed that he hadn't reacted to the name 'Luigi,' but why would he? It wasn't his name, although it was, as he had said, a good one.

_Maybe I'd like to meet this Luigi person,_ Mr. L thought as he jiggled the lock, grinning as it clicked open. "There we go."

"Hey, look I've got—" Bowser's voice was cut off by Mr. L pushing open the door.

"A key?" Mr. L asked. "Thanks for all your hard work, but it wasn't necessary."

"Why _you_…!"

Mr. L stepped aside as Bowser charged him and gave Mario a cocky smirk. "No need for stupid side-quests when you have Mr. L on your team."

Luvbi ducked inward and the group resumed their continuous climb upward.

_You know, this is a poor excuse for a road,_ Mr. L thought as he skittered away from a Dark Boo that popped out of nowhere. _Why put so many traps and enemies someplace where people are supposed to be able to travel?_

Mr. L bit down a cry of panic as multiple Boos swarmed him, and he was grateful that Bowser took his moment of fright to try to burn him, as it got rid of the ghosts.

_Then again, I can't imagine many things wanting or being able to make a trip from the Underwhere to the Overthere._

Mr. L leapt up onto a ledge to get around crossing a crevasse, and frowned when he didn't hear Mario or Bowser behind him.

"What are you waiting for?" Mr. L called down. When only a simmering silence met his question, he laughed. "Some heroes you are," he said, meeting Bowser's snarl with a sneer.

He had taken the easy way _over_ the problem, but if neither of them could reach as high as he could, then they'd have to find a way to get them across.

_How to get them over?_ Mr. L wondered. He didn't think both he and Mario could fit on the ledge together, even if Mario could even jump high enough for Mr. L to catch him, their combined strength might still not be strong enough to haul the Koopa up. _They have to go across, but _how…?

"Have you tried blasting that pillar down?" Mr. L asked, pointing to the large stone structure beside Mario and Bowser.

"Sounds like a great idea! Why don't you come back here and we find out if Boomer works," Bowser said with a toothy grin.

"Pass," Mr. L drawled, but jumped onto the smaller platform the pillar provided and landed on the other side. He took off one of his gold buttons and opened the back to take out a small, pill-shaped object and an equally tiny screwdriver. He bore a hole into the wall as far as he could go without breaking his tool, then put the armed mini L-bomb into it.

"Stand back!" he yelled and managed to jump back onto the larger platform before the bomb exploded.

It, unfortunately, didn't break the wall, although it seemed to have weakened the structure.

"What was that supposed to do?" Bowser called, voice laced with derision.

"Just try hitting the wall, numbnuts," Mr. L said. "Unless you're afraid you'll break a nail…?"

Bowser snarled, and one solid hit later, the pillar came crashing down, forming a bridge across the gap to the set of stairs on the other side.

"The genius of Mr. L saves the day again!" Mr. L cried happily and jumped down onto the stairs, meeting the two as they crossed over. "Just hope we don't have to accommodate your weakness too often, Bowser—I might run out of L-bombs and then you'd have to stay behind, all alone in the dark."

Mr. L didn't dodge quite fast enough, and Bowser's grab for him cost Mr. L his hat.

"Hey! Give that back," Mr. L demanded.

"Aw, but it's just a hat," Bowser sneered. "You can get another one, right?"

Mr. L's eyes narrowed in a combination of fury and desperation. The hat was a gift, it was important, it had sentimental value as well as being part of his uniform. He'd feel naked without it.

That the power dynamic had been so quickly shifted was intolerable to Mr. L. However, he knew that acting like the hat was as important as it was would only provoke Bowser to action.

He had found that out the hard way when he had gotten into a spat with Mimi, although nothing she did compared to the absolutely spiteful retribution Dimentio could visit upon someone. Bowser was more like Mimi, though, so if he played it off as nothing, he'd get frustrated with Mr. L's lack of reaction and wouldn't ever actually follow through on a threat.

Mr. L sighed dramatically. "You're right, I can always get the Count to make me a new one. You can do whatever you want—maybe you should put it on, it might make your ugly mug look more handsome."

Mr. L took a few jumps up, going farther up the stairs, ignoring the almost physical _pain_ he felt leaving it behind, and was ashamed to feel tears threatening. He stopped when he reached a place where he would need to jump up to continue, and took a number of deep breaths, barely keeping them from becoming sobs. The hat had been with him for _years_, it had been a birthday gift. He felt like he was letting down the person who had given it to him, although he couldn't quite recall who that was.

"_Your favorite color is green, right? I got this for you—mom and dad can tell us apart this way."_

_We never really looked alike, though, _Mr. L thought wryly, and his breath caught. _Wait, I had a brother?_

The notion was disturbing, as was the implication that he had a _twin_. It was an odd memory to surface, and left him glaring at the darkness. _I will not let that weaken my resolve. That I never remembered him probably means he's dead._

The loud thuds of Bowser approaching shook the stairs, and Mr. L turned to watch them approach.

"Finally decided to catch up?" Mr. L asked. "C'mon, we can't be that far away from the end and I lost sight of Luvbi since you two insist on taking your time."

Mr. L jumped up to the next set of stairs, relieved when they were at least close enough for Bowser and Mario to make them using two other stone pillars.

_It's just a hat,_ he told himself. _It's just a hat._

The staircase ended up being patrolled by rolling, spiky boulders, and Mr. L gave Mario a glance.

Mario hesitated, then grabbed both Mr. L and Bowser's hands and a lurch into the other dimension made it easy to walk around boulders that had suddenly become flat and inconsequential.

They approached a third door which, to Mr. L's annoyance, turned out to be sentient and possessing another test. He ceded dealing with the inane challenge of defeating a three-headed guardian to Mario and Bowser, standing aside and watching with detached interest.

Mr. L pushed aside his annoyance with himself over a goddamn piece of _cloth_ to ponder Mario's question of "What does the L stand for?" It had never really mattered before—the Count called him Mr. L, the junior minions called him Mr. L, and that was that. L wasn't particularly bad, especially when compared to O'Chunks. He liked it anyway—simple and to the point. Not hard to remember at all, which was especially good since he had a terrible memory.

_But, what if the L _does_ stand for something? What would I want to be called? _

It was a pleasant diversion as Mario and Bowser worked to defeat the Underchomp. He didn't know many names that began with an L, and _Luigi_ kept on coming back to him again and again. It was odd, how much the name rattled around in his head, and Mr. L decided that, at one point, he had at least _known_ someone named Luigi. But, that was the past, and the past didn't matter. All that he could do was focus on the future, since his memories of his past were shadows at best.

"Hey."

Mr. L looked to Mario, who had apparently turned the battle over to Bowser.

"Think this is the last gate?" Mr. L asked as he looked out at the forbidding landscape.

"Hope so," Mario said as he rooted around in his back pocket. Mr. L's jaw dropped open when Mario held out the hat Mr. L had lost to Bowser.

"You…you got it back?" Mr. L asked. "But, _why_? We're enemies! I'm only helping you because I have no other option."

At that moment, Mr. L found himself torn between wanting to hug the hero of the Light Prognoticus and wanting to hit him so that he fell down the stairs and hopefully into one of the spiky boulders. He was grateful, yes, but he also hated that he needed to rely on someone else to get it back. He had planned on shaking Bowser down in his sleep to get it back, but now that Mario was holding it out to him…he wasn't entirely sure how to react.

So, he took it from the hero with a great show of disdain.

"You obviously treasure it," Mario said as Mr. L adjusted the hat on his head. "And…"

Mr. L merely watched Mario as the hero apparently struggled to find the correct words.

"Who gave you the hat?" Mario asked and Mr. L ran his fingers over the rim of his hat.

"My brother, I think," Mr. L said.

"You think?"

"I can't remember," Mr. L said with a shrug. "I think he's been dead a while, though, since I can't remember what he looked like." Mr. L smirked. "Guess that'll pull your heartstrings, won't it? You good guys are far too sentimental for your own good."

For some reason, Mario seemed stunned more than pitying, which made Mr. L wary. It seemed as if some part of Mario had caved in, and that the same despair which had gripped Mr. L earlier was now manifesting in Mario.

Bowser's victory roar caught their attention and Mr. L gestured to the door. "Come on, the only way we can go is forward," he said, a rebuke in his voice. "You have a world to save, don't you? You can't do that by standing here, so get moving, hero. People are counting on you."

Mr. L didn't exactly know _why_ he said such, but it seemed that they were the right words to shake Mario out of his funk.

"You're right," Mario said. "I'm going to save everyone—even my enemies. Even you."

Mr. L frowned. _Huh?_

"You can go ahead folks!" the door told them cheerfully.

With that statement, the door opened for them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author:** Another chapter! Mr. L is such an asshole...

**Disclaimer**: Pfft.

**Chapter 7-3**

Mr. L had not expected to break out into bright, warm sunlight after having traveled in cold darkness for so long. He wasn't the only one to react with surprise, though, given how Bowser roared and Mario yelped.

"Ah, me, blue skies again!" Luvbi sighed, apparently immune to the abrupt change in light-levels. "If we continue upward, we'll soon be in The Overthere! Let us away!"

"Yes, that sounds well and good, but we have yet to find Peach. I'm so worried…" Tippi said, and Mr. L had the distinct feeling that she was _indeed_ worried in her own Pixl-butterfly way.

"Yeah, she's gotta be feeling lonely without her burly, awesome hubby at her side!" Bowser said, crossing his arms.

Luvbi was intrigued, although Mr. L rolled his eyes. "Pray, I would understand this. Is yon Peach the lady friend of Mario?" Luvbi asked.

Bowser bristled. "Hey, shut yon trap, Fluffy! You're talking about the _wife_ of Lord Bowser."

A memory tugged at Mr. L's mind, of an expansive white area, an altar, Bowser in an ill-fitting tux jacket and Miss Pink and Frilly being Miss White and Frilly.

_How did Count Bleck say he created the Chaos Heart…?_

"Oh, verily?" Luvbi said. "But the damsel looms large in his regard, is this not so? A one-sided crush, then, mayhap."

The Nimbi looked up at the seemingly never-ending expanse of cloud above them, and sighed in contentment. "Ah, me, enough idle blather. I shall run ahead, so keepest up if thou canst! If thou climbest too slowly, the sun will set, so shaketh a leg!"

"I hate that creature," Mr. L grumbled and Bowser rumbled his agreement.

"Who does she think she is, sayin' that Peach is Mario's girl? She's _mine_!"

Mr. L looked to Mario to gauge his reaction to find Mario glaring at the cloud to his left.

_Oh…oh, yesss. This has so much potential,_ Mr. L thought, smothering a smirk, an evil plan pushing away the last dredges of uncertainty engendered by Mario's questions. _I really hope we find the Princess now._

"Well, let's get going, shall we? The Void isn't getting any smaller," Mr. L said cheerfully. "Just hope that these clouds as strong enough to support you, Bowser, or else you're gonna end up in the Underwhere for real."

Mr. L sprung up onto one of the clouds, his foot just grazing one of the spikes on Bowser's shell, and snickered when Bowser had to windmill his arms to keep himself from toppling over. Mr. L tilted his head back and squinted. _It looks like we have a _long_ way to go._

"I liked it better when you were sulking," Bowser snapped and Mr. L smirked.

"Come on, what're you waiting for? Bowser afraid of heights or something?" Mr. L said, looking down off the cloud. A simmering, annoyed silence met him, and after a beat, he laughed.

"Shut up," Bowser snapped.

"Do you have anything on you to help?" Mario asked. "You had the bomb earlier, so maybe there's another invention you can show off…?"

"Indeed, I do! Lucky for you two," Mr. L said as he took off his belt, "I've made some special modifications to my belt. It can form a rope that not even Bowser's weight can break."

"Are you calling me fat?" Bowser snarled, and Mr. L gave him a grin.

"You want to stay down there forever and not rescue your precious wifey?"

Bowser bristled as Mr. L let down the belt he had expanded into a rope until Mario could grasp it.

"Think you can shimmy up it or should I try to pull you up?" Mr. L asked.

"I can get up there on my own," Mario replied. "You sure just a rope will work for Bowser?"

"He doesn't look like he'd do ladders well," Mr. L said. "And I can't make platforms out of nothing—at least, not yet. Maybe we can make some kind of pulley system…"

Mr. L secured his belt to a nearby signpost (which read "Stair 1"), but kept a firm grip on it as well.

Mr. L was pleased when his belt _did_ hold up under Mario's use, and gave himself a pat on the back for a job well done. Its strength might prove useful against Dimentio, when he strangled the magician for trying to kill him.

Mario climbed onto the cloud, slightly out of breath, Tippi fluttering around him worriedly.

"Oh, come off it, he's fine," Mr. L drawled. "Hey, hero, I need you to help hold this steady with me so that Bowser's fat butt doesn't go plummeting back to the Underwhere."

"I heard that!"

"I know!" Mr. L replied.

"You know, there will be eventually one time when you can't escape him, and he might do more than just take your hat," Mario said as he took a firm hold on Mr. L's belt as Mr.L tried to use his non-explosive button as a wheel that would help take the load off of his and Mario's arms. He created a kind of stirrup and checked the knot to make sure it would _probably_ hold.

Mr. L shrugged as he finished setting everything up. "He'll threaten to kill me, but he won't actually go through with it."

Mario stared as they strained to hold steady under Bowser's inept attempt at climbing, his claws ill-suited for the act. He and Mario pulled on the rope to try and hoist him up as well. "You said Dimentio tried to kill you, right?"

Mr. L nodded. "Bowser is all bluff. The magician isn't."

After what seemed an agonizingly long time, Bowser finally crested the cloud, exhausted and frustrated.

"How many more times are we going to have to do that?" Bower whined.

"As many times as it takes to get to where we need to be," Mario said and shaded his eyes as he looked up at the endless sky.

"Great," Bowser growled. "Just wonderful. It's all clouds, and I'll bet the clouds'll be attacking us, too!"

"Don't jinx it," Mario said.

"How could clouds have consciousness?" Mr. L asked as they strolled along the surprisingly firm surface of the cloud. "They're just…clouds."

Mr. L wasn't sure if it was he or Bowser who had brought bad luck upon them, since they were indeed confronted with at least semi-sentient clouds.

_Clouds that spit balls of electricity at you,_ Mr. L thought darkly as he tried to shake feeling back into his left hand. _And poison. And make you fall asleep. And freeze you. And poison you. How the hell is this useful as a _road?

"What, a little lightning slowing you down, _Green Thunder_?" Bowser sneered when he saw Mr. L massaging his hand.

Mr. L rolled his eyes. "And _who_ was the one stupid enough to be frozen?"

Bowser growled, smoke curling up out of his nostrils.

Mr. L knew that they hadn't been climbing terribly long, but when the scenery was clouds and cloud-like enemies, it got monotonous after a while.

_The Underwhere was more interesting than this, and we were walking in the dark most of the time!_

Bowser proved to be quite the hindrance to forward movement, his girth slowing him down as he sunk into clouds and couldn't make the jumps that Mr. L and Mario could do easily. More than once, they had to backtrack and help Bowser climb back up to where they had been because he had missed the cloud-platform.

"You need to work on your agility," Mr. L huffed as he stretched his aching arms. "You drop like a stone."

"Hey, this is all muscle," Bowser protested.

"Sure," Mr. L drawled.

All the jumping and flipping dimensions and having to lug Bowser around was also exhausting, so Mr. L was happy when he saw a tree—admittedly, a cloud-like tree with a rainbow in its branches and pale blue fruit, but a tree nonetheless.

_Rest, at last._

"What do you think this fruit is?" Mario asked, looking up at the blue things, rubbing his chin in thought. Mr. L was happy to sit beneath the tree and massage his aching legs, trying to work some of the tension out.

"I'm hungry. Get one down so I can eat it!" Bowser commanded, throwing a haughty glance at Mr. L.

"_This_ is a tree growing in the middle of the sky with fruit that is pale blue," Mr. L said dryly.

"So what?"

"It's in the middle of the sky," Mr. L repeated. "Who knows what kind of fruit that is. Your luck it'll be toxic."

Bowser scoffed. "Nothing can slow me down. Fine, if you're not going to get it down, I will."

When fire and stomping didn't get the fruit to even budge, Bowser gave up and simply glared sullenly at the endless blue-and-white expanse in front of them.

"It might end up being important…" Mario murmured, regarding the tree.

"Well, make a mental note as to where it is, and if we need to, we'll come back later," Mr. L said, his legs finally feeling less like one giant knot, although his shoulders still ached. Bowser was by no means a light load, and he wasn't sure how much longer his pulley-and-rope system would hold up.

"Yeah, we have to find Peach!" Bowser said and lumbered off, away from the tree.

Mr. L found himself giving Mario a bemused smile, which was being returned. The moment of bizarre camaraderie made Mr. L uneasy, so he stood and brushed by Mario, trying to figure out why he would look to the hero of the Light Prognosticus, the man who was technically his enemy, for commiseration.

_I suppose because he's easier to get along with than Bowser,_ Mr. L thought, pushing aside the oddly familiar feeling.

As they back-tracked, attempting to find a new door that would take them ever upward, an enemy popped out of seemingly nowhere and hit Mr. L with two bursts of sound waves. He staggered back, and when one of his feet hit nothing but air, his only thought was, _Oh, shit._

He couldn't gain enough purchase with his other foot, and his backwards momentum meant he was leaning _away_ from the cloud, and a look over his shoulder showed no clouds nearby that would stop his descent.

_No! No, no, no! The Green Thunder will not have such an inglorious death!_

He tried to throw himself forward to counteract the momentum, but gravity was winning. To his surprise (and discomfort), a hand shot out, grabbed his neckerchief, and pulled him back onto the cloud. Mr. L stumbled a few steps forward before turning quickly around to see who would actually _help_ him.

When his eyes met Mario's, Mr. L demanded, "Why?"

Mario frowned. "What?"

Mr. L shook his head and readjusted his neckerchief, his discomfort coming from more than just whiplash. "Nothing, nevermind. Come on, Luvbi said that it was possible for the sun to set here and we don't want to make any more wrong turns than we already have."

One missed jump, two dimensional flips, and three hauling-Bowser-ups later, they came across a figure in pink sitting beneath a tree.

"Mario, look! It's Peach!" Tippi cried, fluttering over to the Princess.

Mario ran over and knelt down in front of her, giving her shoulders a gentle shake. "Peach? Peach? Can you hear me?"

All the Princess did was mumble something incoherent, remaining asleep.

"Oh, come on. This is just plain annoying. GET UP!" Bowser roared loudly enough that Mr. L was sure the Underwhere heard them; Peach, however, remained asleep. "Man, this girl can sleep, huh? I mean, that was a serious roar right there."

Mr. L moved to stand next to Mario, observing the Princess. "Hey, Mario, maybe you should see if that love's kiss thing works out."

Mario's jaw dropped and he flushed as red as his shirt as Bowser sputtered angrily behind them.

"Ah, me…Prithee, tell me, Princess Peach, I presume?"

They all looked up to see Luvbi floating not far away.

"She hath eaten of the golden fruit. She lacketh the common sense, I fear," Luvbi drawled as she tossed what appeared to be a golden apple off the edge of the cloud they were standing on.

"Golden fruit?" Tippi asked, a prompting tone to the question.

"The Overthere teemeth with magical trees whose fruit maketh many an odd effect. The fruit of golden hue maketh people so satisfied they falleth into a deep sleep. And I mean _deep_ sleep, the kind that thou dost not wake from for a hundred years."

"A hundred years?!" Mario yelped.

"You've GOTTA be kidding me! Look, I'm a patient Koopa, but I'm not _that_ patient."

"Luvbi, isn't there any way to wake her up sooner?" Tippi implored.

"Pray, wherefore would I know of such?" Luvbi huffed. "Ah, but hold a moment. I do remember my father's words of long ago. Yea, he said that one tree in the Overthere bore a taboo fruit that could waketh anyone."

"Taboo fruit? What kind of tree has that sort of thing?" Tippi murmured.

"Pray, wherefore should I know, huh?" Luvbi snapped, obviously assuming the question was directed at her.

"So then all we know is that we need to find a kind of fruit. Marvelous," Tippi drawled.

Mario stood and turned to face the other members of his party. "Well, we've gotta do _something_. Let's go find any kind of fruit we can!"

"Do we really _have_ to?" Mr. L whined. "I mean, we've been doing just fine without her."

Bowser snarled and loomed over Mr. L. "We are going to save Peach!"

Mr. L sighed and shook his head. _Their love for her blinds them to the bigger problem of the growing hole in the sky. Well, I shouldn't complain. Their insistence on saving her means that they'll waste time that could have been used to save the worlds._

"So, yon Princess Peach, most seem to holdeth her in regard most high. Hmph! Do what thou wantest! I am NOT helping! I am SULKING!"

"Yeah, well no-one wanted your help anyway!" Mr. L called after her, sending a rude gesture her way. "I mean, seriously. She drops pieces of information, then just flies away."

"Maybe the fruit she means is like the blue fruit we came across earlier," Mario mused.

"I knew they were important!" Bowser cried.

"Of course, of course," Mr. L said and jumped to the next cloud. "Well?"

Jumping, flipping, falling, and a few brushes with death later had them returning to Peach with blue, yellow, pink, and black fruits.

"Here, you deal with feeding her," Mr. L said and shoved the fruit (which he had been designated to carry for no reason he could clearly discern) at Mario. Mario staggered, juggled the fruits, then gave Mr. L an annoyed glance before walking over to Peach and placing the fruit on the ground beside him.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" Bowser demanded.

Mario carefully gave Peach a piece of the blue apple. A second that lasted far longer than a second had any right to last passed and, in a poof of pink smoke, she suddenly shrunk.

"What did you do to my wife?!" Bowser demanded. "Change her back this instant!"

Only a moment later, and with no prompting from Mario, Peach had returned to her normal size.

_I wonder what other fun effects these fruit will have,_ Mr. L wondered, not bothering to hide his smirk.

The effect of feeding Peach a slice from the pink apple had her turn into a _literal_ peach, which made Mr. L laugh, and made Bowser glare at him.

Peach's eyes fluttered open after a piece from the yellow apple, and widened when she suddenly sported a rather impressive mustache.

"Oh my god, oh my god, get some lip wax now!"

Mr. L doubled over as she fell back asleep, although he seemed to be the only one to find it funny. He was still hiccupping from laughing when Peach's screech of "GROOOSS!" caught his attention.

The princess was giving Mario a glare that could have peeled paint. "Ew, what was that? What in the world did you just make me eat?"

Only the fact that Mr. L was working to get rid of his hiccups prevented him from making lurid and inventive remarks as to what they tried to get her to eat.

"It worked! Princess Peach, you're awake!" Mario cried, relief coloring his voice.

"Mario! You're safe and sound!" the princess replied, obviously overjoyed, getting over the fruit thing quickly.

"Hey, concerned hubby over here, Princess Peach!" Bowser said, and the princess gave only a flicker of a glance and a tight smile in his direction before turning her attention to her surroundings.

"Where in the world are we? And what was I doing here? I can't remember a thing…" she murmured, tapping her cheek with one delicately gloved finger.

"Hey there, sweetheart," Mr. L said, pulling Peach's attention to him.

"_YOU!_ What are you doing here?" Peach demanded.

"I heard you had the hots for me," Mr. L replied slyly as he walked towards her. "So I figured I'd tag along."

"What are—how can—what do you—!"

Mr. L smirked. "You know, those two losers over there think you're kind cute, but I don't. I think you're absolutely gorgeous."

"Hey!" Bowser yelled.

"Mr. L…" Mario warned, which made Mr. L grin.

"We are in the Overthere, Princess Peach. Dimentio's attack sent you here." Tippi said, trying to avert a conflict.

"Which makes sense, really. Where are you hiding your halo, dove?" Mr. L said.

Peach's face flushed crimson, which made Mr. L's grin grow wider.

"Thou art a truly terrible man."

Mr. L looked to Luvbi, who seemed at best disinterested in his heavy-handed flirting. Her attention turned to Peach.

"So, thou wakest? I am Luvbi. I am bound for the Overthere and I take yon travelers with me."

"Is that so…" Peach said, her eyes flickering over to Mr. L, who gave her a lascivious grin. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Luvbi."

"I shall head onward, so dwadleth not! Hearth me, princess of silly peaches?"

With that, Luvbi flew away

"Oh, my. I wonder if I said something rude." Peach sighed and gave Mario an apologetic look. "Oh, I must have caused you all so much trouble. I'm so sorry…but I'm happy to see you two again! I'll try to do my best to make up for the time lost!"

"Well, here we go! Up to the Overthere!" Tippi said and fluttered on upward.

"Don't worry, baby, it'll be easy; I can take you higher than anyone else," Mr. L said to Peach who swatted at him with her parasol.

"Peach is taken!" Bowser growled, and Mr. L gave him a cocky grin.

"A woman's heart is a fickle thing," Mr. L replied. "And since she doesn't seem to love you in the first place, it shouldn't be too hard."

"I would _never_—!" Peach protested.

"Oh, I think you'll come around, sugar" Mr. L said, smirking. "I'm a mechanic, you know—I'm _very_ good with my hands."

"Leave her alone," Mario said and gently took on of Peach's hands in his.

Mr. L followed along behind them, figuring out terrible pick-up lines to try on Peach. It would, in all likelihood, drive all three of them insane, which was the point.

_It will certainly break up the monotony of this place,_ Mr. L thought happily as he hopped from one cloud to the next. He didn't really care where they were going or what they were doing, which probably made him more hindrance than help, given how much and how well he was annoying everyone.

"So, how did you happen to come into the company of two fellows so unworthy of you, ladylove?" Mr. L asked, falling into step beside Peach.

She gave him a glare, then turned her nose up at him and said, "I don't need to tell you anything, scoundrel."

"Aw, how sweet of you, calling me a scoundrel," Mr. L replied. "Such a cute term of endearment, foxy."

"It is _not_ a compliment!"

"Your face is as pink as your dress! While you look gorgeous in pink, I'm sure you'd look even more _ravishing_ in green."

"I hate the color green!"

Mr. L shimmied as close to her as her parasol would allow and said, "I hear that girls like bad boys."

"I don't like you! I never will!"

"Never say never, doll," Mr. L replied with a smirk. "Just know that there's a reason I'm called the Green Thunder." Mr. L gave Peach a sly wink, and she balked, her face flushing even redder.

"Leave my wife alone!"

Mr. L looked to Bowser and rolled his eyes as Mario used Cudge to knock a red fruit down from a tree. "Oh, _please_. The only reason you two are together are because Count Bleck played matchmaker. Anyone can see that you aren't able to please such a fine lady as our Princess."

"And you could?"

Mr. L gave Peach a salacious smirk. "Of course. And if I can't, I have some rather _interesting_ toys that the Princess could play with."

Peach stopped dead and stomped to close the distance between she and Mr. L until they were an arm's length apart, her fury almost palpable.

"Now listen to me, you—"

"You're not mentioned in either of the Progonsticuses because words can't describe your beauty," Mr. L cut in, leaning in so he was invading her personal space, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Nothing could hope to capture your sparkling blue eyes, your rosy cheeks, your golden hair."

Peach's fury balked at the direct appeal to her vanity and she couldn't react fast enough to avoid Mr. L stealing a quick kiss.

"You should try me on sometime, angel," he whispered. "I'll bet that evil will look good on you."

Mr. L backed away and gave a stunned and horrified Peach a grin.

He knew that he had incensed both Mario and Bowser, and was pretty sure he would be eternally on the Princess' bad side, but being on someone's bad side hadn't stopped him before—there was no reason for it to stop him now.

It was ever onward and upward, with a good deal of backtracking involved, and Mr. L used every terrible pick-up line he could come up with to 'flirt' with Peach.

He had no desire to actually woo her, a fact that she seemed to be picking up on relatively quickly; not that it did anything to dampen her annoyance or Mr. L's good spirits. He had missed annoying the shit out of people, since it felt like forever since he had last seen Mimi and O'Chunks.

"You know," Mr. L said, maneuvering around Bowser's protective swipe to walk next to Peach, "it doesn't take a genius to see how exquisite you are, but if it did, I'd be overqualified."

Peach turned her nose up at him and sped up so that she was walking next to Mario.

"Maybe you need to work on _your_ moves, Koopa, if she looks to him before you for protection," Mr. L told Bowser, who glared at him.

"She'll see that I'm better than that plumber," Bowser asserted. "And will forget all about him."

Mr. L hummed, declining to comment, given the determined fire that glowed in Bowser's beady eyes.

"Of course," Mr. L drawled and watched Mario talk to a sentient cloud.

A slice of red fruit later had the cloud (that they had apparently come across previously and had agreed to find something for and had apparently dubbed itself Cyrrus) grow enormous, and thus prompted it to change its name to "Super" Cyrrus.

"And I'm real bouncy, so hop on top," it told them.

"That's what she said," Mr. L said, which earned him a glare from Peach.

"Don't you get tired of being such a jerk?" she demanded.

"No, not really," Mr. L answered cordially.

He followed after the others after they had jumped on said cloud, and laughed breathlessly at how high he was sent—admittedly, the landing was rougher than he would have liked, the clouds being surprisingly firm, but the tiny amount of pain was worth the thrill.

"Can we do that again?" Mr. L asked, giddy.

"No," Mario said sternly. "We have to move on."

Mr. L pouted, then sighed. "Fine, fine."

It was white clouds as far as the eye could see, so Mr. L contented himself with figuring out new and inventive ways to pester the people he was _technically _supposed to be working with.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author**: Every-other day updates because reasons.

**Disclaimer**: Of course it's mine, as long as we're in an alternate universe.

**Chapter ****7-4**

It was a surprise when Luvbi announced: "We are here. We have reached the Overthere." She paused and cocked her head to the side slightly. "Odd. No party springeth forth to welcometh us. It mattereth not. Father's shrine is just ahead, so we can walk there with ease. Soon we shall meet with my father, Grambi. Be thou on thy best behavior."

"So Grambi is your father?" Tippi said.

"Didn't she just _say that_?" Mr. L muttered as Luvbi said: "Thou art correct. Grambi is my father and Jaydes is my mother. Pray, listen. I fell ill once and my father never left my bedside. They hath an overprotective side, verily, and I grow annoyed of it at times. But mayhap it is mine own fault for being so cute. They cannot help it!"

"Uh, yes, surely," Tippi said, obviously not buying what Luvbi was trying to sell. "In any case, perhaps we'd better go and meet that Grambi."

Mr. L had hoped that _something_ would change upon entering the Overthere, but the only difference was that there were some buildings.

_Boring,_ Mr. L grumbled as they continued to meander through the clouds.

It had been difficult traveling with Bowser, given how often they had to haul him up, and even with the diversion of annoying the heroes, Mr. L was getting tired, and thus cranky.

_If this Grambi isn't easy to find, I swear I'm going to just see if the Void's power tears me apart or not. I am _done_ with this hero crap._

Abruptly, a loud cry for help cut through the quiet.

Mario took off at a run, ever the hero; Bowser followed right behind him, then Peach, with a disinterested Mr. L pulling up the rear.

"What's your beef, hah?" a blue, skeletal creature demanded of Mario.

"Stop whatever you're doing to that poor creature!" Peach demanded, and Mr. L finally took notice of the motionless form half-hidden in the cloud.

"Oh, friend of the Nimbis, are ya? Then ya must be the enemy of US! Taste spear!"

"I'd rather not," Mr. L murmured before yelling: "HAVE AT YOU!"

The creatures were nothing compared to Mimi when she was in a mood, and were easily taken care of, Mr. L beating Mario and Bowser to the punch.

"Th-Thou hast my gratitude," the Luvbi-like creature that he had coincidentally helped said. "I know not who thou art, but thou didst save me…"

"Pray, speak! What has happened hither?" Luvbi demanded.

"A pox, verily…yon fell beasts hath been flooding into the Overthere of late. They seek the Pure Heart. They need it, for they hath some plan most foul!"

"Yon beasts seek the Pure Heart! Foulness!"

Mr. L rubbed his temples. "Did she really just say that?" he said, which earned him an odd look from the Princess. Then again, she had been throwing him strange looks ever since she had begun to walk with Mario. Mr. L responded to the glance with a lusty wink, which made her huff and turn away.

"Only Father knoweth the Pure Heart's resting place. Father is in danger!" Luvbi said, either not hearing or ignoring Mr. L

"I yearn to hide, verily, but if thou seekest Grambi, thou shalt need this key. I cannot help more, but, prithee, protect Grambi. Um, Farewell."

The creature floated away and the group all looked at each other (excluding Mr. L, of course). Mr. L didn't mind, though. He had very firmly slotted everyone into the group of 'junior heroes', as there was no way he could conceive of Mario being able to actually save the worlds. Even the evidence that he had collected all the other Pure Hearts and beaten him twice meant nothing—now that he had spent time with him, there was nothing exceptional about him at all.

_Except that he seems to inspire baseless trust in him,_ Mr. L observed.

"Hey, Bowser," Mr. L drawled, "you haven't been really useful since the Underwhere, have you? Some hero you are."

"I'm not a hero! I'm a bad guy!"

Mr. L cocked an eyebrow. "You haven't done anything villainous the entire time I've been traveling with you."

"I—I'm trying to change my ways for my wife's sake! I want Peach to be happy. I'm…I'm going to be a hero. Yeah, definitely, a hero."

Mr. L snorted. "Some hero you are, then, always needing to be helped. I thought that good guys helped those in need, but all you've done is hold us all back."

"That's not fair," Peach said.

"Defending you husband, are we, love?"

Peach stiffened. "I-I…It's just that Bowser isn't meant for this kind of environment. He's been very helpful in the other worlds we've traveled to."

"Right," Mr. L said slowly, mockingly. "Still, he can't just pick and choose when to be a hero, right? He's done a bad job of hero-ing, then."

"I haven't had a chance!" Bowser protested. "You'll see! I'll _prove_ that I'm just as much a hero as Mario."

"You wouldn't know a chance to prove yourself if one hit you in your squished face," Mr. L told him as he jumped up to another cloud and prepared himself to haul up all _three_ of the heroes.

_Yup. Done with this hero thing once we find the Pure Heart._

To Mr. L's astonishment, a chance for Bowser to prove he had a modicum of heroism did almost hit them in the face.

After traveling up a series of platforms that required Mr. L's help _every time_, they discovered a small building, in which they found a Nimbi trapped in a block of ice.

"The poor man. What should we do?" Peach mused.

"Move aside!" Bowser yelled, then took in a deep breath and spat out a great burst of fire, evaporating the ice block.

"Oh, thank thee! It is as though thou has brought me back to life!" the Nimbi cried happily, but after only a moment, confusion seemed to take hold of it. "Hold a moment, what am I doing hither? WHO AM I? WHERE AM I? Do I have amnesia? Ah, what to do!"

"Let's move on," Mr. L said and left the newly-freed Nimbi behind.

He was happily thrashing a few enemies when Mario and Co. caught up to him. "Hey, darlin', if I captured you, would I capture your heart as well?" Mr. L said to Peach, who huffed at him and made a point of appearing to ignore him, floating from cloud-to-cloud with her parasol.

Before Mr. L could make the jump over the gap, his forearm was caught, and he turned to see a frustrated Mario holding him back.

Mr. L grinned. "What, can't take some competition?"

"First off, you are _not_ competition. Secondly, can't you just take a clue and _stop_?"

Mr. L smirked. "No. I won't stop unless you _make me_ and you're a hero. You don't have the balls to do what you would need to."

Mr. L ripped his forearm out of Mario's grip, which had gone slightly lax, the man's blue eyes having widened.

"Try to keep up, hero. If you can't save your girl, how are you gonna save all the worlds?" he asked, and was perplexed to see Mario look _wounded_.

_It's not like I was any more of an asshole than usual,_ he thought as he turned away to follow behind Peach and Bowser.

Mr. L smirked at how Bowser was sticking close to his "wife," and at how the Princess didn't seem to be minding anymore—in fact, she appeared to be talking to him.

Mr. L was trying to gather more tacky pick-up lines when a shrieking not unlike what Luvbi had been doing the first time they had met hit him.

"Oh, woe is meeee. My darling man hath been frozen by brute monsters!" Mr. L stopped on the cloud, Mario, Peach, and Bowser forming a small arch around the Nimbi. "I need him so…" she pleaded. "I am Fallbi, a helpless kitten compared to them! Oh, what shall I do? Thou! Art thou a kitten too, or art thou a grand lion? Prithee, lion, help mine man!"

"I'll help him," Bowser said with what Mr. L assumed was an attempt at a "heroic" voice. A breath of fire later, and the Nimbi was free.

"Darling dear!" Fallbi cried.

"Fair Fallbi!"

"Thank heavens…yon person helped thee."

The newly-freed Nimbi looked at Bowser and bowed slightly. "Thou hast my thanks, yea. Pray, allow me to do something for thee in return."

"Yea, verily, darling dear. Perhaps if thou wouldst move the thou-knowest-what?" Fallbi said.

"Yea! The thou-knowest-what! Fair Fallbi, thou art as clever as thou art adorable."

"Oh, darling dear, 'tis true, but how thou goest on! Let us away!"

"Ah! Pray, wait , my lovely Fallbi fair!"

"The thou-knowest-what?" Luvbi asked as Mr. L made gagging sounds at the sheer saccharine that had dripped off of the couple's interaction.

"That was awfully nice of you, Bowser," Peach observed, which made Bowser puff out his chest in pride.

"Anything for you, Peach."

"Anything?" Mr. L said suggestively as he sauntered by them, intrigued by what the you-know-what could possibly be.

Whatever it was seemed unimpressive at first glance, but that was likely because he was the first to arrive at wherever the 'you-know-what' was. Mr. L idly wondered if Mario _would_ ever confront him over his heavy-handed flirting with Peach. He was doing it just to get a rise out of everyone, but Mario didn't seem to get that, even if though Peach had.  
He was also beginning to think that they were _letting_ him get places before them, just so they could plot behind his back. It was something the junior minions would do, but he wasn't certain if junior heroes would do that.

_Well, guess I'll find out if I discover myself in the Underwhere due to a 'misstep'._

"Sorry to makest thee wait," the Nimbi said when Mario, Peach, and Bowser appeared. "Behold the Overvator! It transporteth Nimbis upward! I owe thee for thine help. I operate yon lift. Prithee, let me giveth thee a ride. Goest thou up?"

Mr. L stepped onto the lift and gave the three heroes a "_Well?"_ look.

The rest stepped more carefully onto the platform, and after a slight jerk, it rose into the sky.

Mr. L was getting the strangest looks from all the other party members, but pushed them aside. What they thought didn't matter. The only person's opinion he cared for was Count Bleck's.

The memory of his Count made a spike of loneliness hit Mr. L. He had never been away from the Castle for so long, and he did miss the Count, the cool, monochrome corridors of the Castle, and the solace that was his lab.

_Instead I'm traveling with the hero of the Light Prognosticus in an attempt to find a Pure Heart that _may_ help me get back home. Brilliant plan, Mr. L. Brilliant._

"And yea! Hither we are! Thanks for using the Overvator," the Nimbi said as they disembarked.

Mr. L was amused by the trail of frozen Nimbi that was before them, and looked to Bowser, who was almost bursting with fire from the desire to prove to Peach that he was just as heroic as Mario, if not more so.

_Well, then. Onward._

As they walked forward, Bowser left a trail of shivering, but freed, Nimbi in his wake, and only stopped when the Nimbi that was last released seemed important—at least, it had more unusual features than the rest (not that that was saying much).

"Whoa! Thank thee for thine help!" the Nimbi said. "My given name is Whibbi! I owe thee for that one. Thou art super!"

Luvbi floated over to him and demanded, "Whibbi! Speaksest of my father! How doth he fare?"

Whibbi shifted nervously. "I am sorry, Luvbi…I could not stop yon beasts from entering Grambi's shrine. And the fiends wrecked the bridge once they crossed it…help cannot reacheth him."

"Man, all I hear is CRYING. Show a little initiative! Can't we rebuild the bridge?" Bowser said, obviously taking Mr. L's mocking to heart.

Whibbi seemed to think before slowly saying, "Hm, mayhap. To rebuild it, thou must find Rebbi, Blubi, and Yebbi, and get their three orbs. Once thou hast them all, we can rebuild the bridge." The Nimbi seemed to somehow rummage around in a hidden pocket before handing over a key to Bowser. "Taketh this, and findeth the others. I beg of thee, thou must help."

"Of course we'll help!" Peach replied.

"You can leave it to us," Mario said.

"Sure, sure," Mr. L drawled and walked back towards the door through whence they came.

"Okay, heroes, where are we going to find these three?" Bowser said, obviously lumping himself in as a hero now, and as he wasn't facing Mr. L, Mr. L figured that he was excluded from the hero title. "The Overthere is big and everything looks exactly the same."

Peach tapped her cheek with one finger. "Well, there _was_ that strange Nimbi…the one who said he had amnesia. I'm pretty sure he was just confused after being unfrozen."

"Sounds like a good idea, Peach," Mario replied, and off they went.

Mr. L tarried and watched the group of three hop between the clouds.

Mr. L turned and pressed his fingers against the fabric of reality. It gave slightly more and he felt a zap of energy run up his arm and through his body. It was a dark feeling, and he felt it tugging at him. He looked at the void and thought, _It's getting really strong here. They're running out of time. _

Mr. L smirked. _How wonderful._

The dark energy had been somehow seductive, pleasurable in a bizarre way. Still, he didn't want to risk getting torn to shreds using power he wasn't entirely sure he could control.

Even though he was oddly certain that he could.

_Seems like I'm still stuck traveling with the "heroes." _

A surprisingly strong surge of something close to homesickness crested over Mr. L that he shook off with a growl of frustration.

_Stop it,_ he told himself. _Help the find the stupid orbs so they can rebuild the stupid bridge. The faster this gets done the sooner I can go home and leave the losers behind._

He wasn't surprised they didn't wait for him, but knew where they were when the cries of: " WHERE AM I? WHEN IS IT?" reached him.

Mr. L reached the building/platform post-conversation, and the trio of heroes were looking at a blue orb Mario held in his hands.

Mr. L swiped it from Mario, who yelled in surprise. "This is one orb of three, right? Time to find the other two."

"You give that back right now!" Peach demanded and Mr. L gave her his most charming smile.

"I'm only taking it for safe-keeping," Mr. L said and put it in his front left pants-pocket. "But if you want to take it back from me, be my guest, princess."

Peach just stared at him.

"Come on, nothing is happening with us _standing _here," Bowser said and stomped off, Mr. L giving the Koopa ample room.

"I'm always here for the taking, sweetness," Mr. L told Peach with a wink.

"Why doth thou insist on needling thy teammates? Surely thou canst see the Princess be Mario's lady," Luvbi said, floating next to Mr. L as they passed through a door.

"Luvbi, in case you haven't gotten it, I work for the bad guys," Mr. L drawled. "I'm not helping these losers out of the kindness of my heart."

"Yet help them thou dost."

Mr. L shrugged. "If I don't, I won't get back home."

Luvbi didn't leave his side, though, sticking next to him as they journeyed.

"I overheard Mario and his Princess speaking, once."

Mr. L looked at her with a "And I should care _why_?" glance.

"They believe thou to be someone different than thou appearest."

Mr. L readjusted the blue orb in his pocket, making sure it was still there. "Luigi?"

Luvbi blinked, surprised. "Hast thou overheard they, too?"

"Mario asked once if I knew anyone named Luigi. I don't. He seemed…disappointed."

"The Princess of silly peaches dost not believeth Mario at first, but she hath been convinced that thee may be more than thou seemeth."

Mr. L rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, sucks for them since they're _wrong_."

Mr. L took the opposite direction of the rest of the group, Luvbi following him.

"Why are you following _me_?" Mr. L demanded.

"Because I choose to do so," Luvbi replied.

"Yeah, well, you've made the wrong choice."

"Doth thou not search for the orbs as well?"

"No, I'm just enjoying a leisurely stroll through the clouds," Mr. L drawled.

"Why dost thou go contrary to thine traveling partners?"

"Because it's what I do," Mr. L said and looked down at the long drop that was below him. "I don't want to walk in Mario's shadow—the only person I follow is Count Bleck."

"Thou makes it seemeth that thou hath walked in yon hero's shadow prior to our meeting," Luvbi said mildly.

Mr. L frowned. "What, do you want me to be someone else, too?"

"I want thee to stop being an annoyance. Perhaps finding thine true self shall stop thy inane insistence on being a nuisance."

Mr. L rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't it be irony if _you_ are the one who mistakes who you are. You're definitely adopted."

Luvbi was about to retort when a loud voice cried out: "TAKETH THAT!"

Mr. L trotted over to where the voice came from to see a red-clad Nimbi running away from a group of skeletal-minion-things, the creature obviously on its last…wings?

"They come without pause! Hm…against such an assault I cannot hope to last." The Nimbi noticed Mr. L and seemed relieved. "Reinforcements? At last! My strength hath reached its end. Please, thou must finish them!"

Mr. L was torn between saying, "You're serious?" and actually beating the things, but the decision was taken from him when Mario bounded over his head and Bowser rushed around him to get to the enemies.

Mr. L took off his cap and scratched his head. _Well, I know it isn't something I said this time._

"Hey, sweetcheeks," Mr. L said to Peach when she came up beside him, who gave him a glare.

"Aw, smile for me, angel eyes."

"Would you stop that? My name is _Peach._ You may address me as Princess, Peach, or Princess Peach."

"Okay, sugar."

Peach was obviously about to scold him when the Nimbi's voice cut over theirs.

"I am Rebbi! Thou hast saved me! I owe thee thanks."

Luvbi fluttered over to the Nimbi. "Rebbi! Grambi is in trouble! Hast thou the red orb?"

"Luvbi…the three orbs are not things to be given away lightly! And, yet, these are dire times, are they not? And I owe thee a big debt. Here, I give it to thee!"

Mr. L had slowly made his way up behind Mario, so when he reached out to get the orb, Mr. L got to it first.

Mario sighed heavily, but let Mr. L have it.

"I will go thither and check on the others. If thou survivest, let us meet again."

With that, Rebbi departed.

"We must away as well!" Luvbi exclaimed.

"You sure are some help, Mr. L," Bowser drawled. "Especially with all the evil, villainous things you've been doing, I can see how you could make a Grade-A bad guy."

Mr. L gave him a smirk. "You're here to save the worlds, aren't you? To protect the vision of loveliness that is your forcefully wedded wife?"

"Yes! I don't want there to be a world without my Queen!"

Mr. L hummed. "Don't you think the Void has gotten awfully large of late? Surely you wouldn't want there to be any _delays_ in getting the Pure Heart. It would be a shame if this world ended before you located it."

The heroes stared at Mr. L as he casually sauntered ahead, whistling carelessly.

"C'mon, I think I see something up ahead," Mr. L called back over his shoulder. He knew that the three were probably scouring their minds for when he could have possibly delayed them, but it didn't matter. The seed was planted and it would drive them nuts without Mr. L having to do anything.

Having lived with Dimentio, Mimi, and O'Chunks, traveled throughout the Underwhere, and witnessed the destruction of an entire world, Mr. L would have thought that he was prepared for any kind of thing that could be thrown at him.

He honestly had no idea how to respond to what was apparently a restroom stuck on a cloud in the middle of the sky.

After a silent game of "Not it," Mario sighed, walked to the door, and knocked cautiously.

"Are the fell beasts gone? So it is safe for me to come out thither?" a voice said from behind the door. "By the way, who art thou?"

"A fell beast," Mr. L drawled, which earned him sharp looks from the rest of the party.

"A fell beast! Thou LIEST! No fell beast wouldst admit to being one! Huh? Hold a moment. That meaneth…thou art _not_ a fell beast?"

The door opened cautiously, and a Nimbi fluttered out. "Hello to thee! I am Yebbi! Thou came to rescue me?"

"We must rebuild yon bridge to reach Grambi! Thou must givest us the yellow orb!

If thou dost not, we shall tell all how long thou spent hiding in thither!" Luvbi said immediately.

"L-Luvbi! Oh prithee, thou must not tell! I shall do all thou askest!"

No-one moved to stop Mr. L when he took the yellow orb, which made him smirk.

"I should not hath hidden like a base coward. I goeth to help the others now…Be thou careful."

"Well," Mr. L said once Yebbi had fluttered away. "We have all the orbs."

"Let's go back and rebuild the bridge," Peach said.

"Anything for you, sweetness."

Bowser growled but strangely restrained himself.

_Huh. Perhaps he _is_ taking this hero thing seriously._

The group back-tracked, Luvbi staying surprisingly close to Mr. L as he forged ahead of the group.

"What do you intend to do, Mr. L, once thou hast found the Pure Heart?" Luvbi asked as they waited at the Overvator for Mario and Co. to catch up.

Mr. L shrugged. "Head back to Flip-flop-side place, shove it in a Heart Pillar and hope that the door leads home."

"Thou canst not return to thine home?"

"My key was stolen so I can't get back normally."

"Aha," Luvbi said. "Thou whilst happily leave thine companions."

"The only person that matters to me is Count Bleck," Mr. L said firmly. "I am willing to give everything, do anything, for him."

"Not thy family?"

"I don't remember my family."

"That is unfortunate," Luvbi said, seeming slightly sad. "Family doth be important."

"Yeah, well, no use dwelling on the past," Mr. L replied, "especially a past I don't remember."

"Thou hast no have recall of thy past?"

"Nope."

"Pray, tell me how this be so?"

Mr. L shrugged. "Beats me. But, my past can't have been _that_ good if I can't remember a lick of it."

Luvbi fell silent, to Mr. L's relief. _If I had known that talking about my lack of memory would shut her up, I would've done it sooner._

"We approacheth our destination," Luvbi said and flew ahead, leaving Mr. L alone. "I shall wait for thee at the bridge."

Mr. L watched the heroes approach, smirking faintly at their dynamic.

_Both of them really do love Peach, don't they?_

Peach was bookended by Mario and Bowser. She was mostly ignoring Bowser in favor of talking to Mario, but she wasn't actively avoiding Bowser like she had done prior.

_Wouldn't it be funny if I brought them together? Heh._

Mr. L had the strangest feeling that he had, once upon a time, loved someone like Mario loved Peach, but it was a distant thing and easily pushed aside. He didn't have time for stupid things like _love_ when there were prophecies to fulfill.

Mr. L looked to the Void and smiled. _I'll help the Count achieve his dream. Nothing else is important, no-one else is important. The things written in the Dark Prognosticus _will_ come to pass. All worlds _will_ end._

"You _do_ know that if the Void grows large enough to consume this world, _we_ might go with it," Tippi told him as they boarded the Overvator together.

Mr. L blithely ignored Tippi, turning his attention to Peach, whom he sidled close to, ducking underneath Bowser's guard.

"Hey, babe, if I were to save one person from this world's demise, it'd be you," Mr. L said, giving Peach his most charming smile.

"Knock it off, Luigi," Peach said primly and brushed him off, turning away from him.

"Some pet name that is, sugar," Mr. L drawled. "Will you take my word that I'm the Green Thunder, or will that require…demonstration?"

Peach's gaze flicked between Mr. L's face and, strangely, the L on his hat. She then gave him a haughty look and turned her nose up at him. "You certainly are full of yourself."

Mr. L's lips pulled into a salacious smirk as he gently tugged on a stray lock of her golden hair.

"My offer still stands, princess," he said, drawing out the word _Princess_ to make sure she knew that it was still a pet-name and not an actual title, at least to him.

They disembarked and Mario inserted himself between Peach and Mr. L.

"No need to protect me from her," Mr. L said and Mario rolled his eyes.

"I don't need protection," Peach said. "He's just much better company than you are."

"Aw, I'm wounded, love," Mr. L said with a dramatic gesture of taking a hit to his heart.

"If only," Bowser rumbled.

They came upon Whibbi who looked away from speaking with Luvbi to address them.

"Grambi is in danger grave, but we are all so weak. We must ask you, saveth him for us!" he said, and there was a soft murmur of "Yea"s from the corridor behind them.

"You can count on us," Mario said, and Bowser rumbled an agreement while Peach nodded.

"Sure, sure, whatever. Let's go save the day," Mr. L said and walked to a platform that seemed like it might be important—it had three depressions where things could be placed, at least. He knelt and placed the yellow, red, and blue orbs in whatever order he wanted, which seemed to work, given the beam of light that arched out over to a distant cloud, it changing from insubstantial to solid with a blaze of color.

"How needlessly flashy," Mr. L said. "These Nimbi might have better taste than I thought."

Mr. L jumped up onto the first step and smirked down at the heroes. "Does someone need to hold Bowser's hand to make sure he isn't afraid of crossing the sky?"

Bowser snarled and jumped up after Mr. L, who cackled gleefully. "That all you got?"

The bridge rose impressively high, giving Mr. L a spectacular view of all of the Overthere, as well as the creatures from the Underwhere that were attempting, for some reason, to invade it. It was breathtaking, and Mr. L was certain that a fall would be fatal.

Mr. L stood at the apex and wondered what it would be like to fall from such a height. It was a documented phenomena—the strange desire to jump when looking over a cliff. He knew he wouldn't, and he knew he couldn't, but it was still interesting to ponder as the junior heroes made their way up.

He felt no need to goad them, since just standing there, lording his position over them, was probably enough of an annoyance.

He met Bowser's beady eyes and gave him a smug smile. He wasn't sure what Bowser read into the expression—maybe it had something to do with Peach, maybe to do with how Mr. L was physically above him, maybe a reminder of a dozen verbal and non-verbal taunts Mr. L had thrown his way.

"Welcome to the top," Mr. L drawled when Mario jumped up beside him.

"Have you tried going back yet?" Mario asked and Mr. L rubbed the back of his neck.

"I did try, and if I used the power of the Void I could probably do it."

"You can somehow use _that_?" Mario asked, pointing to the hole in the sky.

"Well, yeah. Pretty sure I can."

"But, how is that—"

Both Mr. L and Mario startled at the Bowser's roar, and turned to see Bowser rushing them, pushing Mr. L off the bridge his obvious goal. However, instead of hitting its intended target, Bowser's inept rush up the stairs pushed Mario aside, which threw him dangerously off-balance.

Mr. L acted without thinking, grabbing the straps of Mario's overalls with one hand. When the plump plumber kept on falling forward, Mr. L pulled towards himself and kneeled, using his own body weight to drag Mario back and away from danger.

The platforms weren't terribly large, so Mr. L sacrificed a tiny bit of his dignity and pulled Mario up on top of him.

He poked the hero of the Light Prognosticus in the stomach when he stayed over him a little too long and said, "Move."

Mario carefully stood and took a step down so Mr. L could sit up. Mr. L rubbed his shoulders and grimaced. "Man, I'm getting a workout helping out you heroes."

"_Why_ did you help me?" Mario asked once Mr. L had stood.

"Because you saved my life," Mr. L said, idly readjusting his hat, snickering at how Peach was scolding Bowser. "Now we're even."

Mario hummed in understanding, but was once again looking at him with eyes that said he was seeing someone other than Mr. L, which was incredibly frustrating.

"Look, Jumpman," Mr. L said as he looked down at Mario. "I don't know who you think I am, but I'm Mr. L, got it? So, knock it off!"

Mr. L jumped down the rest of the bridge in one leap, passing both Bowser and Peach. Mr. L offered Peach his hand when she arrived at the final stair.

"Need any help getting down, my lady?"

Peach scowled at him and brushed his hand aside, stepping down on her own. Mr. L followed her and said, "Aw, no thanks for saving your boyfriend back there? I would have thought you'd be grateful Mario is still alive."

"It's because of you that he was hurt in the first place!" Peach yelled at him, which made Mr. L smirk faintly.

"Now that kind of fire is sexy," Mr. L said.

Peach threw her hands up in frustration. "Incorrigible—"

"HOLD IT!" a voice snapped out, making Mr. L look ahead of him to see two of the skeletal minions. "How'd you guys get in here? I thought we destroyed the bridge!

"Shuttest they trap, foul one!" Luvbi snapped. "Speakest! Doth my father fare well? If thou hast hurt a whisker on his face, I shall END all that is you!"

"WHAT? You little brat!" the minion turned away and yelled: "Hey! You guys! Fall in!"

A veritable army of skeletal minions came rushing forward, and Mr. L's eyebrows rose slightly. _If only I had Brobot.._.

Oddly enough, no-one else in the party was deterred either.

"So, ya wanna see how scary we can be, little girly? Well, take a good look!" the minion sneered.

"Oh dear, there seems to be a lot of them…I didn't think there were so many left!" Tippi murmured.

"Calm thy mind! I shall handle them!" a Nimbi voice cried out, who was revealed to be Rebbi. "At long last, my strength returned to me, and now these fiends shall reap the grim harvest of Nimbi fury! The hour is nigh, Nimbi brigade! Art thou ready?"

"Yea!" replied a cacophony of voices.

A Nimbi army swarmed up behind Rebbi, and Mr. L didn't bother to smother a snicker.

_Oh, this is going to end well._

"Hast thou fear of these fiends from the Underwhere?"

"Nay!"

The minion seemed to be fuming. "Oh, all tough cause you got an army, huh? Let's see how ya do against MINE! Yer going down!"

"Thou art toast!"

The clash of the two armies was fascinating, and Mr. L found he had to trot to catch up with Bowser, Mario, and Peach who had left him behind.

A very long staircase up later, they walked into a building to find a creature that seemed more hair than physical form slumped over.

"Oh no! Father! Father! Art thou all right?" Luvbi cried, flying over to him, her worry obvious and obviously touching to Peach and Mario.

"Luvbi…thou should not have come," Grambi wheezed. "Flee from here."

A rumbling cackle drew the party's attention. "A touching scene, to be sure."

Mario glared at the skeletal dragon-like thing that approached them. "You're the boss of all the crazy guys who escaped the Underwhere, aren't you?"

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, I assure you," the creature said smoothly. "My name is Bonechill. I am something of an evil celebrity in certain circles of the Underwhere."

"That may be, but my father shall never give you the Pure Heart! So givest up!" Luvbi snapped.

"Oh, you dear, ignorant child. You really don't know a thing, do you? How _charming_."

"W-What dost thou mean?" Luvbi asked, her anger easily thrown off.

"I speak of the Pure Heart, and I speak of _you_, Luvbi. _It is you_!"

"What sayest thou?"

"The Pure Heart was hidden ingeniously to keep it away from evil sorts like me. Grambi changed the Pure Heart into a Nimbi that he called his own daughter!"

"Ha ha…Th-That is just silly. My mother and father…"

"Oh, priceless! You really think Grambi pays an ounce of attention to you out of love?"

"That's…no. Thou liest! Father, sayest something!" Luvbi cried, turning quickly to face Grambi.

"L-luv…bi…"

Bonechill laughed. "The old fool can weigh the sins of others but not his own."

"It cannot be…" Luvbi whispered.

"Luvbi, we can talk later. Right now, just take Grambi to safety. Quickly!" Tippi commanded.

"O-ok…" Luvbi said, obviously in a state of shock, as she actually obeyed Tippi without protest.

Bonechill sneered at them. "Many thanks for delivering the Pure Heart. Once I deal with you, none can stop me! I shall be _invincible_! Please, as your game ends, remember it is an honor to have it ended by my talons."

Mr. L stood back as Mario and Bowser charged in, even Peach joining in the battle to defeat Bonechill. Mr. L saw no need to exert any effort, especially since the others seemed to be finding fighting Bonechill cathartic. He'd step in only if they appeared to be in dire need of his help.

Mr. L rolled his shoulders and attempted to massage some of the tension out, all the jumping and falling and helping people making him sore and stiff. _If this is what helping people requires, I'm never being a hero, _ever.

Bonechill mentioning that Luvbi was the Pure Heart bothered him more than he liked. He had been _joking_ about Luvbi being someone other than who she was, and then it turned out that not only _was_ she different, she was also kinda-sorta adopted.

Mr. L ran his fingers along the brim of his hat. _If my bullshitting ended up being true, what if Mario and the others saying that I'm someone different is also true?_

It wasn't something he liked to consider. He was and always had been Mr. L.

_Right?_

Mr. L shoved the doubts from his mind and turned back to watching the battle. After watching the fight for a few minutes, he rubbed his eyes in frustration. _Could these guys be any more junior heroes? I mean, really._

Mr. L dodged an icicle, walked over, crouched down, and sprung up to hit Bonechill in the chin, snapping his head back and making him wheel backwards into the wall. Mr. L was pretty sure that would be all it took to down the creature, given how the junior heroes had managed to get a few decent hits in, but had somehow reached a stalemate due to fatigue, injury, and a steady onslaught of ice bullets.

Mr. L was pleased when Bonechill, indeed, was defeated.

"How…? Impossible. How could you puny worms destroy a master of the cold dark…!" Bonechill let out a loud death-cry before literally falling to pieces, everything vanishing once it touched the ground.

"Thanks for all the help," Bowser growled, a black eye slowly forming on the right side of the Koopa's face.

"You seemed to have it all under control until you started _losing_," Mr. L drawled. "And it was awfully mean of him to try and hurt the lovely princess, so since you were doing such a terrible job of protecting her, I figured I'd show you how a real man does it."

Bowser tried to scorch Mr. L, but instead nearly ended up setting Luvbi and Grambi on fire as they reentered the room.

Oddly enough, the fire didn't seem to phase them, but Mr. L chalked that up to Bonechill saying that Luvbi wasn't a real person, but an object.

"Thou has done a fine job…thou has saved our realm…" Grambi said, obviously regaining his strength.

"Father…the words of that thing were lies, yes? Thou and Mother art my parents?" Luvbi earnestly pressed. It was easy to see that she wanted to believe that everything Bonechill said was false.

_Who wouldn't? Being told that the people you considered family have been lying through their teeth your whole life…well._

"Well, Luvbi…" Grambi began.

"LUVBI!" a voice cut in, and was revealed to belong to Jaydes.

"MOTHER!" Luvbi cried in return.

"I had not received word of your safe arrival, so I came looking…are you well?" Jaydes asked, looking over Luvbi, trying to determine if she was unharmed.

"Speakest to me now, Mother. Father and thee…are thou verily my parents?" Luvbi asked.

What followed was one of the strangest conversations Mr. L had ever been privy to, and that was saying something, considering who he lived with.

"The Pure Heart was always in danger of falling into the hands of evil, darling," Jaydes said quietly. "So Grams and I decided to transform it into a shape that no one would suspect."

"And that was…me?" Luvbi asked.

Abruptly, light flashed around them, a searing brilliance that made Mr. L recoil while Bowser, Peach, and Mario all took a step forward in wonder.

"What was that?" Jaydes demanded, looking at Grambi.

"The Pure Heart doth struggle against the Luvbi identity…it seeketh its true form," Grambi said solemnly. "It doth sense someone nearby worthy of possessing it. It must be these fair folk…"

"It's strange that you keep on getting lumped in with us as good, isn't it?" Peach asked Mr. L, giving him a glance over her shoulder.

Mr. L gave her a grin. "Only because I'm just that handsome, princess."

Luvbi looked at Mario, queasiness forming on her features. "So, uh…haha. Thou saith that I am meant to be with him. He verily is…my prince?"

"Told you Princes had mustaches," Mr. L said.

"This is not the time or place for your sass," Peach reprimanded him, which made Mr. L shrug.

"Luvbi, a living, thinking, conscious creature is actually an inanimate object. I think this is precisely the time and place for sass," Mr. L replied.

"This doth stink!" Luvbi fumed. "He is completely wrong for me! I speak seriously to you, this hath no humor in it." She fell silent for a moment before she spoke again, her voice tight with anger: "Fine. I shall return to my Pure Heart form...and I shall go with Mario and his friends."

"Thou art certain?" Grambi asked. "If thou turnest back into the Pure Heart, the Nimbi known as Luvbi will cease to exist."

"Nay, perhaps I already have. I remember being the Pure Heart now, in truth. And the world would end if I did not do this, is this not so? So I should just…Wait, why do I explain myself to thee? Thou art not my real father, so _quiet_!"

Grambi appeared shocked. "What dost thou sayest?"

"To think of all the times thou hast scolded me! Thou didst KNOW I was not long for this world? Why did thou not let me have fun? Nay! Instead, I suffered an angry fake father and a nagging fake mother! I had no life! How dost thou plan to make that up to me?" Luvbi snapped, her voice bursting with suppressed tears.

"Luvbi!" Jaydes gasped.

"Sayest thou what thou wilt to me, but talketh not to thy mother that way! Perhaps thy sass shall end once thou changeth forms! What dost thou wait for?" Grambi scolded Luvbi.

"Oh, giveth me a break. I shall do it whether thou wish it or not. It shall be a RELIEF!"

Mr. L looked at Mario. "Are you really going to just let them hash it out?"

Mario shrugged. "I think that if we don't, Luvbi will never actually agree to help us out."

"So, you're willing to let her die?"

Mario was silent, although Mr. L could easily read the tension in his posture, and found that he could almost guess the man's thoughts.

_He wants to save the world, but he doesn't want to sacrifice anyone for that purpose. He'll be perfectly okay if Luvbi decides to say no, to not become the Pure Heart. It's not fair that an _object_ be turned into a _person_, no matter how well that person was treated. A life of lies…he can't imagine anyone living such a thing._

"It is true that we created you as a means of protecting the Pure Heart," Jaydes said, her voice laced with regret. "But Grams and I came to love you as a true daughter. We wanted to be with you for all time, to protect you. You became a part of us. Perhaps we were wrong to create you…and if we only caused pain, we apologize."

Silence hung heavily in the air, and Peach shifted uncomfortably, her dress making a soft shush against the marble floor.

"Oh, Mother," Luvbi nearly sobbed. "Thou needst not apologize. My dear mother, thank thee…"

Pure light flashed around them again, and Mr. L flinched, the illumination feeling invasive, its attempt to pry into his mind painful, seeking out the cracks that were forming around suppressed memories. The others basked in it, wondering, when all Mr. L wanted to do was snuff it out for reasons he couldn't clearly explain.

"The Pure Heart doth wish to assume its original form," Luvbi whispered.

"Luvbi…" Grambi rumbled as Luvbi turned to face them.

Mr. L was surprised when Luvbi addressed _him_. "Takest good care of the real me, Mr. L," she said before turning to Mario. "Thou three, savest the world, yea? Such is my final wish, so if thou dost not do it, thou art most unkind!"

"Are you certain?" Mario asked. "Because, if you don't want to, we all understand. This is _your_ decision. I won't—none of us will—force you to become something you don't want to be."

"If I need to be the Pure Heart, then so be it. I shall regret my decision not, so neither should thee, fair Prince," Luvbi said, calm, steely conviction in her voice.

Luvbi turned to her 'parents' and said: "Father, mother, fare thee well."

"Luvbi…" Grambi said, obviously at a loss for words.

"Oh, my darling…" Jaydes said, tears choking her.

"…I love thee both."

In three blinding flashes, the Nimbi who had been at Mr. L's side for what felt like forever was gone, replaced by a glowing, white Pure Heart.

"Now, ye prophesied ones, destined heroes…Takest our dear daughter. Takest the Pure Heart, and sweareth this to me. Thou must prevail! Let no-one else in the universe feel this sadness."

Mario nodded. "We _will_ succeed."

"We promise," Peach affirmed.

"You can count on us!" Bowser said, puffing his chest out in what he probably thought was a heroic manner.

"Very well. Then I am satisfied. Now, Luvbi, thou must go…" Grambi said, and Mr. L found it weird that he continued to address the Heart as his daughter.

"Oh Grams…" Jaydes sighed sadly.

Even though Luvbi had told him to take good care of her, Mr. L was still surprised when the Pure Heart floated over to him, landing softly in his palms. It pulsed against his gloves, a hot, painful vibration, and he had the strangest feeling that Luvbi was still hovering near his shoulder.

_Mr. L, I wish that, whatsoever dost happen, that thou finds thine own happiness, whatsoever it might be._

Mr. L stared at the Pure Heart.

"Heroes, my daughter wanted thee to save all worlds. 'Twas her final wish," Mr. L heard Grambi say.

"Oh, yeah, I'll take real good care of the Luvbi's corpse," Mr. L said cheerfully as he sequestered it away.

The silence that hung in the praetorium was heavy and pained.

"Mr. L—" Jaydes began, but Mr. L shook his head.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," Mr. L replied flippantly. "You just have to justify to yourselves the decision to create a 'daughter' for the express purpose of murdering her."

Mr. L stood defiantly before the rulers of the Underwhere and Overthere. "Send me back to Flipside, will you?" he half-commanded. "I'm going to have to tell the Count that I've found creatures more villainous that he'll ever be."

Grambi hesitated, obviously torn between rage and regret, but eventually gestured with his wings, and a door formed against the wall opposite the one where they had fought Bonechill, which Mr. L sauntered through.

The transfer from cloud-ridden Overthere to Flipside was jarring, but welcome. If he had his way, he would never, ever see either Jaydes or Grambi ever again.

_That was impressive, really,_ Mr. L thought as he looked at the corpse of Luvbi that he held in his hands. _That someone would have the gonads to create a living being while fully knowing that they will have to kill it. I can't imagine it…I wonder if it hurt to lie to her, or if it became so commonplace that they became numb to the fact that they had crafted a false existence. Man, Count Bleck really does have the right idea._

Mr. L walked to the edge of the platform and sat down, looking at the white Heart that made his entire being shake with pain.

_And to think that I can only go home by shoving this into a pillar, it doomed to loneliness for eternity._

The prospect of loneliness made Mr. L grimace and hunch over the Heart. _Pushed aside and forgotten. Ignored, belittled, ridiculed. _

A surge of bitterness swept through him, and the Heart dimmed slightly in his arms. _I will do what is right,_ Mr. L said and stood, the rest of the group coming out of the door. _I will do what is necessary._

"Took you long enough, slow-pokes," Mr. L drawled, making sure the Heart was tucked securely away. "What, did you stay for tea or something?"

"That was very mean of you, Mr. L," Peach reprimanded and Mr. L waved his hand dismissively.

"It's not like I was _wrong_, you know. Let's find the final Heart Pillar so I can rid myself of you junior heroes."

The Heart Pillar was surprisingly easy to find, requiring minimal flipping and jumping, a welcome change of pace from the cloud-strewn ladder they had struggled up.

"A door has opened," Tippi told them once the Pure Heart had locked into place.

"So, the time has come heroes."

Mr. L looked over to see a person shuffling towards them, feeling only mild annoyance at being continually lumped into being a _hero_, especially given what had just occurred.

"The last door is at the top of Flopside tower in the center of town! I'll go ahead and wait there for you. Once you've prepared for the battle that waits beyond that door, come to me…"

"Wow, even he knows how badly your asses are going to get handed to you once we get into Castle Bleck," Mr. L drawled.

"You'll see, Mr. Loser. We're gonna stomp that Count of yours into the ground."

Mr. L's eyes narrowed and he glared at Bowser. "The only way you'll win against Count Bleck is if he lets you."

"Hah! I'm way stronger than he is."

Mr. L smirked. "I'm look forward to watching him mop the floor with you."

"You'll see who is doing the mopping!" Bowser retorted.

"Let's just get going…" Peach said and walked between the two of them.

The way to Flopside was easy, but Mario kept Mr. L from going in the elevator, sending Peach and Bowser up Flopside Tower first.

"You're angry about Luvbi, aren't you?" Mario asked.

"Aren't _you_?"

"Of course I am. But, I can't let her sacrifice—"

"She shouldn't have had to sacrifice herself in the first place," Mr. L snapped. "But, _no_, Jaydes and Grambi thought that the best way to protect the Pure Heart was to make it a living, thinking, feeling person. They had to have known that she would need to die, but they kept her around anyway, out of selfishness."

"Luvbi…she wanted to see the worlds saved."

"So, you would die, too, wouldn't you? You'd die to save the worlds without even bothering to think about Peach or anyone else you leave behind. Because, what's your life compared to the millions of others out there? That's just…just…" Mr. L threw up his hands. "I can't decide whether I want to grant you the death you're obviously looking for now, or let you continue to suffer under your delusions of grandeur. A hero _helps_ people, doesn't he? He doesn't let them die to further his own ends. That's what a _villain_ does, Mario."

"You would kill me?" Mario asked.

"Yes," Mr. L answered. "To save you the pain of living, and to save people from the pain you'll inevitably cause them."

Silence fell heavily between them, Mr. L glaring at him as Mario shrunk back slightly.

The elevator dinged its return and Mr. L stepped in. "I'll see you at the top, _hero_."

Mr. L found he was breathing heavily and a hand went to his head, a headache forming behind his eyes.

_...don't worry bro, I'll save you…I'm so glad you're alive…I don't know what I'd do without you, Mario…don't die, please, don't die…_

Faint, fuzzy images danced before him and he felt tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.

_It feels familiar traveling with Mario because I've traveled with him before…a lot,_ Mr. L thought, and wavy lines of pain interrupted the images, brushing them away like smoke. _I've loved him and hated him, haven't I? _

He had managed to regain most of his self-control by the time the elevator door opened, and he only staggered slightly as he walked towards the large, black door. Two, similar Ancients stood to either side, and they waited until Mario had arrived to speak.

"This is the final door. Eight Pure Hearts versus the Dark Prognosticus…Castle Bleck awaits," the grey one said.

"_Finally_," Mr. L growled and shoved the doors open.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author:** And it is here that we hit more-or-less complete divergence from the game.

**Disclaimer**: I have written almost 70 stories and not one of them has brought in even a tiny bit of money.

**Chapter 8-1**

Upon stepping through the door, Castle Bleck rose to meet him, and Mr.L let out a joyful cry.

"L-ater, losers," he told Mario and Co, who were still standing on the other side, talking to the two mustached people. Mr. L ran towards his home, the familiar monochrome comforting.

_He saw a house, slightly cluttered with memorabilia from adventures past, and across from him sat Mario, who was giving him the impish grin that he only got after surviving another brush with death._

"_Thanks for watching everything for me, bro," Mario said._

_That doesn't matter,_ Mr. L thought and ran into the halls of the Castle, shaking his head free of memories. _I'm Mr. L! Not…anyone else. That was the past. This is the now. The past doesn't matter. All that matters is this moment._

_This_ was his home. Castle Bleck was where he belonged. He was Mr. L, Count Bleck's most promising minion, and he would see the Count's dream realized. It didn't matter who he had once been. He obviously wasn't that person now, so there was no reason to care. He couldn't hesitate, not if he wanted to make Count Bleck proud of him. His steps slowed, he feeling like he had outrun his memories.

The silence in the Castle had a different quality to it than normal silence. It was a waiting silence, full of potential. He looked over to see the Void hanging heavy in the sky and smiled faintly. It was a physical manifestation of the Count's ambition, and it never ceased to provide a strange sort of motivation for Mr. L.

_But, if he succeeds, then what? Everything will be gone._

It was the first time he had ever doubted the Count, and it pissed him off. _Grambi asked Mario to save the world to prevent sadness—that's a lie. To exist is to feel sadness; no-one can be happy without another being sad in this universe. The one the Count creates won't have that._

He shook off the doubt and resumed his walk.

The whole remembering-his-past-life thing was shitty.

"Ah-hah, now, what is this? Mister L, what a pleasant surprise."

Mr. L stiffened at the breezy tenor and snarled, "Dimentio! Come out and show yourself!"

Dimentio obliged and appeared mid-air a few meters away. "I didn't think I'd be meeting _you_ again, Mr. L."

"The Green Thunder doesn't die to something like you that easily!" Mr. L cried as he sprang at Dimentio—only to pass through nothing, the magician teleporting away. Mr. L rolled into a crouch and bared his teeth when Dimentio appeared again on the other side of the room.

"Temper, temper, Mr. L!" Dimentio chided.

"Get down here and fight me for real!" Mr. L snarled.

"Aha ha, I think not." Dimentio tapped the chin of his mask with one finger, apparently musing over something. "I must wonder, however, at your tenacity," Dimentio said, giving him his infuriating smile. "Still alive and still the illustrious Green Thunder."

"Yeah, well, your face isn't going to be alive when I get a hold of you!" Mr. L yelled and ran so he was standing beneath the magician.

"Now, Mr. L, no need to become violent. We're on the same side, remember?"

"Bullshit! You're not on the Count's side at all, I know it!"

"Ah, but can you _prove_ it?"

"You tried to kill me!"

"But, you traveled with the heroes. What does that say about where _your_ loyalties lie, Mr. L?"

Mr. L bristled and jumped high enough to grab Dimentio's ankle. He turned around and threw him into a wall, the magician gasping in surprise.

"I am, and always will be, Count Bleck's!" he yelled. He ran at the dazed magician, but had to stop quickly, hitting the wall lightly as Dimentio's form proved to be only an illusion. "Enough of your stupid tricks!"

"Ha ha ha. Mr. L. I have a question for you."

"Yeah, well, my fist has a question for your face!"

"How _charming_," Dimentio said. "Tell me, Mr. L. What's your first memory? Your very, very first. Is it of a birthday party when you were a child? A snippet of a family vacation? Your first fight with your brother?"

"Shut up! I'm not falling for any more of your crap!"

"Such stubbornness is touching," Dimentio said, appearing to his left, hanging in midair, his hands steepled before his face.

"Get down here! No more running for you."

"Hm, so what will the great Mr. L use against poor, little ol' me? Your machines are broken like branches for a campfire."

"I don't need my Brobot to beat something like you!"

"Some_thing_? I'm wounded, Mr. L."

"If only," Mr. L replied acidicly.

Mr. L coiled himself up and lunged up at Dimentio, smirking when the punch made contact, sending Dimentio flying. "C'mon, don't make this too easy."

"Haha, I'm going easy on _you_, Mr. L!" Dimentio said as he pushed himself back up, not a scratch on him.

"'Oi!"

Mr. L turned quickly to see O'Chunks and Mimi running towards him, obviously intent on fighting him.

"Well, Mr. L, I think—"

"Oh, no you don't," Mr. L snarled. He jumped up and caught Dimentio's ankle the moment before he teleported away, which brought Mr. L with him. Mr. L was unsurprised to find himself in Dimension D, and was dropped to the ground when Dimentio shook him off.

"Well, well, well. Mr. L, I admit that I am impressed."

Mr. L glared up at Dimentio, who had lost his cheerful demeanor. "It appears that Nastasia is more powerful than I thought."

"Yeah, and I'm definitely more powerful than you are!"

Dimentio smiled. "Prove it, then. Show me the power of the Green Thunder!"

"Have at you!" Mr. L cried and leapt for Dimentio, who vanished.

"I wonder…can your puny little mind handle _this_ trick?"

Mr. L's eyes narrowed when multiple Dimentios appeared. He dodged the purple-black-gold stars, but the first Dimentio he took out wasn't the correct one, which caused Dimentio to laugh, the sound making Mr. L twitch.

_I'm going to make sure he never laughs again._

Mr. L took out two L-bombs, armed them, and tossed them at Dimentio, the weapons intercepting a magic-star, setting off an impressive explosion.

"What wonderful little toys you possess, Mr. L."

Mr. L snarled, feeling his anger grow at each taunt. He unwound his belt and was about to leap at Dimentio when a strange feeling flooded him, not unlike the times he had poked at the fabric of reality in the Overthere and felt the Void's power. He gasped and swept his hand out in front of him in an instinctive, protective gesture. From the gesture sprang green-edged black lightning, and it slammed into Dimentio, sending him skittering over the ground.

Mr. L grabbed the cloth over his chest, and shuddered, hunching in on himself. The energy felt intoxicating, but it also burned, leaving him shivering.

"So, the Prognosticus speaks truly—you _are_ the man in green," Dimentio murmured.

Mr. L looked up at him and felt a wave of hatred roll through him.

Unfortunately, it appeared that the one burst of power was all he could manage—he could feel the lightning temptingly close, but something was holding it at bay.

"I think I've seen all I need to," Dimentio said and Mr. L was bombarded with stars, which he managed to barely avoid.

_What is this feeling?_ He wondered, his heart thudding in his chest. He couldn't avoid two stars quickly enough, and ended up flying into a wall.

"Poor Mr. L," Dimentio crooned. "Now, just stay still. This won't hurt much."

Mr. L felt Dimentio try to reach into his mind and he snarled, pushing against the intrusion.

"I'm being gentle, Mr. L," Dimentio murmured. "I can make this much more painful if you keep on being a nuisance."

Mr. L kicked out and surprised the magician, managing to hit one of his knees, which was enough to break his concentration and deal the final amount of damage necessary to dissipate the Dimension D.

"No matter," Dimentio said as he floated away. "I have all that I need. Before I bid you farewell, Mr. L, I give you a rather tasty morsel to chew on—Nastasia brainwashed you. Ciao!"

Mr. L pushed himself onto his feet and glared at the space where Dimentio had been. _Asshole._

Mr. L brushed himself off and took a deep breath. He shoved Dimentio's words away, forcing him to focus instead on the task in front of him-make sure all worlds ended, just as Count Bleck wanted. Mr. L debated going to his lab to see if the remnants of Brobot L-Type had been transported back; he eventually decided that physical proof of his failure would only be galvanizing.

_Remind me that I can't lose _this_ fight. That the fate of the entire universe rests on me either delaying or defeating Mario._

Mr. L maneuvered his way to the entrance to his lab, pressed a special code on a number pad, and a door slid away, letting Mr. L into his private workshop.

"_Nastasia brainwashed you."_

"Shut _up!_" Mr. L snarled. "So what if she did? That doesn't matter, not anymore. And it won't matter at all once the Count has won."

Mr. L discovered that the Brobot had not been returned, but he had another in the development stage, and working on perfecting that would likely take his mind off of Dimentio's taunt. Working with his hands always brought Mr. L an odd kind of clarity. It helped him focus, to push aside all the little doubts and worries and negativity that crowded the back of his mind. He unrolled the blueprints, found a pencil, and started to work out the schematics.

Unfortunately, even figuring out how to include anti-matter ray-guns in the new Brobot wasn't enough to shake the nagging insecurity. He slammed his hands on the table and glared at nothing.

"So what if I was someone else? So what if I have an entire life I know nothing about? That doesn't matter! That _doesn't matter!_" he yelled at the empty room. "I'm Mr. L, the Green Thunder. I am Count Bleck's best minion. I'm going to help Count Bleck with his plans, and if that means ignoring a whole chunk of my life, _fine_! I'm okay with that."

Mr. L unclenched his hands and rubbed his temples, a memory dancing just outside his perception.

_Screw this. I'll go visit the Count,_ he thought. _Maybe that'll make all my stupid half-memories go away. I'm not the person I was…I am Mr. L, the Green Thunder!_

He shoved the blueprints away, glared at nothing, then stomped up the stairs to the main floor.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. Don't act like a junior minion._

Mr. L took a few shortcuts and came to the doors that led to the inner sanctum quickly enough.

The place was deliberately confusing, if just to keep the less cooperative grunts in line. If they couldn't find their way out, they'd take their frustration out on any…uninvited guests. It worked out fairly well, as far as Mr. L was concerned.

That O'Chunks got lost along the way sometimes remained hilarious—especially when Mr. L deliberately changed a path or the location of a door. He had been reprimanded by Nastasia on more than one occasion for that, but Mimi and Dimentio had found it as entertaining as he, so he was undeterred.

He took a deep breath, knocked on the door, then entered, hoping that the Count was around and that Nastasia wasn't.

Luck was not with him, for he walked in to see the Count leisurely reading the Dark Prognosticus, Nastasia standing on the platform beside him, obviously reading something as well.

Mr. L jumped to the platform just below where the Count was resting.

"Count Bleck, your loyal servant returns," Mr. L said and knelt before his Count.

"You!" Nastasia said, obviously surprised.

"Count Bleck was beginning to wonder about Mr. L's loyalties," the Count said.

Mr. L physically flinched. "My Count, you must understand, my key…I lost my key and I couldn't get through the dimensional fabric. I had to travel with the heroes, but they liked having me along as much as I liked traveling with them."

"And how did you lose the key?"

Mr. L glowered at the floor. "After I…after I disobeyed your orders and went to fight the heroes, I lost, and Dimentio attempted to kill me to keep me from returning to the Castle…although I don't know _why_. He stole the key from me right before he hurled me down to the Underwhere."

"You survived the Underwhere, asked Count Bleck."

Mr. L nodded. "And the Overthere."

"Count Bleck is impressed with your strength, Mr. L."

Mr. L felt a surge of pride and straightened slightly, glad that he had been more-or-less forgiven. Count Bleck gestured that Mr. L could relax, so Mr. L stood and his shoulders dropped slightly in relief.

"Nastasia, I would like a moment alone with Mr. L," the Count told his assistant, and after startling a little, Nastasia nodded and left the room.

After the door closed behind her, the Count picked the Dark Prognosticus out of the air beside him and slowly flipped through it. "Mr. L, The Dark Prognosticus says many things, predicts great and terrible events. The Light Prognosticus does more or less the same. However, they differ, understandably, on most things," Count Bleck looked at him over the pages, his red eye glowing brighter than usual, which made Mr. L pay close attention. "They both, however, prophecy a man in red and a man in green. In both, the man in red is striving to save the worlds, preserve the universe. The man in green has a more…complicated destiny."

The Count seemed to find the page he was looking for, cleared his throat, and said: "Though the man in red shall wield formidable powers, one shall stand against him. The man in green shall use the Chaos Heart's power to bring darkness to all," the Count read. "From what I have heard of the Light Prognosticus, a man in green is said to determine which Prognosticus is fulfilled—not the hero. Not even me." The Count fell silent for a moment. "I am certain that you are the man in green."

Mr. L swallowed hard, the enormity of the destiny written for him weighing on him, and what Dimentio had mentioned now made more sense. "_I _determine the fate of the entire _universe_? But, Count, you—"

"There is no need to make your decision now. But, when the time comes, do not hesitate! Count Bleck set everything into motion. It is up to _you_ to write the conclusion, Mr. L."

The statement hung heavily in the air, leaving Mr. L breathless. _Mario is locked into saving the world, but me…_ Mr. L looked at his gloved hands. _I can do either. Save it or destroy it. Talk about responsibility. Well, if there's one person qualified to make such a decision, it's definitely me._

"I won't let you down, Count," Mr. L said resolutely.

Count Bleck chuckled softly. "I know you won't."

The Count looked to the door. "Mimi and O'Chunks are off delaying the heroes of the Prophecy. If any of the heroes survive…" Count Bleck smirked. "Count Bleck will delete them."

Mr. L grinned. "You'll have no problem—they might not even manage to damage Mimi and O'Chunks. They're such junior heroes."

"Junior heroes, asked Count Bleck."

"Like Mimi and O'Chunks are junior minions, Peach, Bowser, and Mario are junior heroes. They can't win against you."

"Indeed," Count Bleck said. "Now, we wait and watch the worlds fall to pieces."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author:** This isn't the last chapter. You'll see why that's relevant by the time you get to the end. just saying.

**Disclaimer**: trolololol

**Chapter 8-2**

The door to the meeting room opened with a creak and Mario entered. He looked drawn and battered, but more resolute than when Mr. L had left him.

Mr. L stood in front of the Count, falling into a fighting stance. "Count, let me—"

"No," Count Bleck said. "The hero has come to confront Count Bleck, and he shall face him."

"Count! But…"

Count Bleck shook his head. "If Count Bleck fails, then you, Mr. L, must finish it all."

"Count…"

The Count tipped his hat to Mr. L before turning his attention to Mario.

"I see you've come at last," Count Bleck cried, looking down at Mario. "So you really are the hero of the Light Prognosticus. But, you are far too late to stop the Dark Prognosticus and me…Count Bleck! All worlds will soon end. Come to grips with that now, for you cannot stop it. I suggest you make yourself comfortable and enjoy this one, final spectacle!"

"But, why?" Tippi demanded. "Do you really want to destroy everything? Why would you this? How _could_ you do this?"

"Count Bleck does not care about any world! They are all meaningless. Better that I destroy them. Better yet, I shall make it as if they never existed at all!"

"If the worlds have no meaning, then was our meeting meaningless as well? Answer me, Blumiere!"

_Blumiere?_ Mr. L wondered and looked to the Count, who seemed affected by the name.

"You know the answer, dear Timpani…Count Bleck does not have to tell you. But the hour has grown too late. You should know that by now."

_Blumiere? Timpani? I missed something, didn't I?_

"Blumiere, my love, Blumiere…or, rather, Count Bleck. The only way we can stop this is to defeat you, and that is exactly why Mario and I have come here. To stop this."

Count Bleck laughed. "Very well! But I will also do what I must! Count Bleck is the deleter of worlds! My fate is written in the Dark Prognosticus! Do not think for a moment that I will hesitate to strike you down!"

Count Bleck turned to Mr. L. "I will deal with these two _alone_."

"But, Count!"

"I will not say it again."

Mr. L gave Mario a dirty look before murmuring, "Yes, my Count."

Count Bleck turned to Mario. "Are you prepared, hero? Our duel will be worthy of the last clash the world will ever see!"

Mr. L stood aside, jumping a safe distance away from the battle. He hated letting his Count face Mario, but Count Bleck had told him that, if he should fall—which he wouldn't—Mr. L needed to finish everything. Him getting in the way would do nothing.

Mr. L smirked when Mario's first attack did nothing, and the smirk slowly spread into a grin when every attack fell flat. _So, the Chaos Heart can make someone invincible?_ Mr. L thought. _No-one can stop the Count now! Not even Mario._

Count Bleck laughed at Mario. " Is that all the heroism you can muster? Let me show you true power!"

The air grew tight as Count Bleck formed a miniature void that sucked Mario in before spitting him out almost contemptuously, sending the hero tumbling across the marble floor.

"You can't so much as tug on the cape of Count Bleck! You have failed! I expected more potency from the hero of the prophecy! I will watch your game end, and then your precious world will end soon after!"

Mr. L smiled at the desperation that crossed Mario's face.

_You lose._  
"Oh, come _on_, you're not giving up already?"

Mr. L's head snapped over to the door, where Bowser and Peach were walking in. They, too, appeared to have been roughed up, but had, regrettably, survived Mimi and O'Chunks—either that or they had run away, but Mr. L knew they weren't the kind of people who would do that.

"Come on! Man up a little! You never give up this easy when you attack _my_ castle!" Bowser scolded.

Count Bleck chuckled. "So, you _are _alive, then."

"We would never let you destroy everything, you awful count!" Peach told Count Bleck.

"You heard her! Now you're gonna have to deal with all of us," said Bowser.

"But, where's your fourth hero? The prophecy indicates that there should be _four_ of you."

The three heroes looked between each other.

"We don't need a fourth hero to defeat you!" Bowser said with his usual bravado.

"Count Bleck thinks you may be overconfident," Count Bleck sneered. "Now—"

A bright light suffused the room and Mr. L recoiled in agony.

"What…what's this?" Count Bleck demanded, he lifting his hand to shade his eyes from the blinding light.

"What's happening to us?" Peach asked, she seemingly equally surprised by how she, Mario, and Bower glowed.

"The Pure Hearts…" Tippi murmured as the eight spectral Hearts appeared and encircled Count Bleck.

The Count began to laugh at the existence of the Pure Hearts before a realization dawned on him after they flashed one final time. "My barrier…is gone?"

"Seems we don't need a fourth hero! We'll stomp you anyway," Bowser sneered.

"Their hope burns bright to shatter the walls of blight," Mr. L heard Tippi say. "Perhaps your hopes are strong enough…perhaps even more so than if we had a fourth hero."

"So be it…says Count Bleck."

"Count!" Mr. L cried, and was about to move, but the Count gestured that he stay where he was.

"Don't celebrate just yet," the Count told the heroes. "Your precious worlds aren't safe until my last breath!"

The Count threw out his cloak, revealing the depthless sea of stars that it contained. "Let us finally end this! Now the true battle beings…with Count Bleck!"

Mr. L hated being told to stand down, but he didn't have the power of the Chaos Heart as his command, so probably wouldn't be able to face down all three heroes at the same time. One-on-one he might, but with them empowered by the Pure Hearts…well, he didn't want to take his chances, at least not until they were sufficiently weakened.

Mr. L cheered when Bowser was sent flying into a wall due to a ball of energy Count Bleck threw at him, shouted encouragements to his Count as Peach was knocked off a platform, derided Mario for his failures, and mocked them over their statuses as junior heroes. If he couldn't physically fight, he'd still help in any way he could.  
Still, three-on-one odds, especially with the Chaos Heart being neutralized due to the blasted Pure Hearts left the Count weaker than Mr. L would have liked. The lucky hits that the heroes got now and then were slowly taking their toll, and Mr. L cried out in horror when Count Bleck collapsed to the ground.

"Ex…Excellent…" Count Bleck wheezed. "You have won. Now, finish Count Bleck."

"No!" Mr. L cried and dashed in front of the Count, standing protectively in front of him. "I won't let them!"

"Move out of the way, Greenie," Bowser said.

"Surely there's another way besides killing him," Tippi said.

Count Bleck shook his head. "Dispatch me and the Chaos Heart will disappear. The prophecy will be undone."

"There's not going to be any dispatching while I'm here," Mr. L snarled.

"Count! Look out!"

Mr.L whipped around to see Nastasia block an attack meant for the Count, collapsing on the ground from the force. Dimentio floated not far away, his perpetual look of amusement even more grating than usual.

"Silly assistant! Absorbing my attack to protect him? What an adorably hopeless gesture. I was about to give him the everlasting peace he so desperately wants," Dimentio said, regarding Nastasia's unconscious form like a child examining an ant under a magnifying glass.

"Get down here and face the Green Thunder like a man!" Mr. L said and lunged at Dimentio, only to have the magician vanish and reappear behind him.

"Aha ha. This is my moment, Mr. L," Dimentio crooned. "Even if the Count dies, the Chaos Heart won't disappear if I continue to control it."

"I won't let you!" Mr. L said and turned, but his strike went right through Dimentio.

"It was ever so kind of you to use the Pure Hearts to defeat him," Dimentio told Mario, Peach, and Bowser, reappearing to hover above them all. "If they make greeting cards to thank people for helping with evil plans, I owe you one."

"What are you saying?" Tippi demanded.

"That's he an asshole and needs to die!" Mr. L snarled.

Dimentio laughed cheerfully. "Such spirit, Mr. L! You are like a hound baying at a fire truck as it passes. But, alas for you, Mr. L, it is time for your magnum opus!"

"What? Wait! Dimentio, what are you—"

Mr. L fell to his knees as he felt Dimentio pressing against his mind, finding the chink that Nastasia's brainwashing had created by separating Luigi's repressed emotions into Mr. L while suppressing the dominant Luigi personality.

_No, no, no…_Luigi chanted. _Mario…Count Bleck…I can't let…I can't let him! I won't!_

"The Dark Prognosticus says he's the idea host for the power of the Chaos Heart, and I have seen it for myself—this _will_ be your end," Mr. L heard Dimentio say. "Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready for the greatest magic show you'll ever see!"

_I will not be his puppet!_ Luigi thought as the Chaos Heart's power whirled around him. _Hurting the Count and Mario, trying to kill me, and now trying to control _me,_ the great Green Thunder…it's unforgiveable. I _hate_ him! He needs to die, and I will be the one to do it!_

The Chaos Heart's power latched onto Mr. L's hatred and anger and drove out every other thought, every other emotion. Despair, disgust, rage, _hate_—every negative emotion, every destructive thought was dredged to the surface, and the Chaos Heart latched onto his soul.

Luigi clutched his chest and his body heaved, shaking off the illusions of love, happiness, and magnanimity. He felt something hot fall into his hands and he looked down to see a green Pure Heart blazing in his grasp. The crystal dropped out of his fingers and it skittered across the floor, the brightness abruptly snuffed out, his Pure Heart becoming like stone—dead and inert.

_Pure love does not exist,_ Mr. L thought as he looked over at the group. _All love accomplishes is needless pain._

The Chaos Heart descended upon him and filled the empty space that the Pure Heart left behind. It burrowed under his skin, became a part of his body, his mind, his very soul.

Luigi was a vessel for the power that would bring everything in reality crashing to an end. He knew he had barely changed physically, retaining his normal appearance, albeit wearing Mr. L's black shirt and green neckerchief paired with Luigi's blue overalls and normal-"L" hat, but little else indicated that he was something more than he had ever been. Mr. L and Luigi found unity in the intensity of negative emotions, and the schism that had been created by Nastasia's brainwashing healed over, merging the two personalities once more.

"And now, I'm going to add my own power to this spicy little concoction," Dimentio said, his power gathering around his hands.

Mr. L grabbed Dimentio by the crystal that pinned his cloak on, easily dispelling Dimentio's paltry abilities.

"I don't think so," Luigi said and green-edged black lightning surrounded both he and Dimentio, and while it ran harmlessly over Mr. L, Dimentio screamed in surprise and agony before being slowly undone, the lightning erasing him, starting at the pointed toes of his shoes and working its way towards his mask.

Dimentio, oddly, laughed as the lightning neared his mask. "Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans," Dimentio said, amusement never leaving his visage. "Ciao, Mr. L—or should I call you Luigi?"

Luigi's fist unclenched once the jester was gone and he shook his head slowly. "It doesn't matter. Mr. L is Luigi, and Luigi is Mr. L."

"So…it seems the end of the worlds is really upon us," Luigi heard Count Bleck murmur.

"You said it yourself, didn't you, Count?" Mr. L replied, the power of the Chaos Heart swirling through and around him, filling him and spilling onto the ground around him. "The man in green shall use the Chaos Heart's power to bring darkness to all."

"Luigi! Don't do this!"

Luigi turned to face his twin and a tidal wave of resentment swept through him.

"I can and I will," Luigi replied coldly, the intensity of the emotion causing lightning to gather around his hands. "The Green Thunder strikes like lightning!"

Luigi released the lightning, directing it towards Mario, and thunder roared in its wake, loud enough to rattle the platforms. Mario dodged out of the way, and Luigi leapt towards him, a ring of lightning expanding about Luigi.

" 'Oy! What're ye doin', Mr. L?"

Luigi looked at O'Chunks as he rushed into the room, Mimi riding on his shoulders. "What does it look like? I'm fulfilling the prophecy." Mr. L said, landing lightly on a platform, the lightning whipping out in an arc that left scorch marks on the ground as O'Chunks dodged.

"By hurtin' everyone?"

"That's what the destruction of all worlds entails, doesn't it?"

"We won't let you!" Mimi cried, morphing into her spider-like true self.  
Luigi shivered with disgust. "I hate bugs."

He jumped around O'Chunks' clumsy attack, using the male's broad shoulders as a spring-board. Mr. L landed on top of Mimi's head, and she cried out in alarm.

"What are you doing? Get off me this instant!"

"Just hold still—you won't feel a thing," Mr. L said and raised his hands towards the ceiling.

Mimi collapsed to the ground, her legs having evaporated. Mr. L rode her 'body' down before jumping away. A contemptuous flick of his wrist sent a jolt of lightning her way, and she screamed before returning to her humanoid form, devoid of arms or legs.

He turned away from her to laugh at O'Chunks as his punch was deflected, O'Chunks staggering from the momentum of his own attack, slamming into a platform.

Luigi stood still as a ball of fire from Bowser flowed harmlessly around him. "Don't tell me your memory is _that_ bad," he drawled. "You need the Pure Hearts if you want to counter the Dark Prognosticus, and you've already used those."

He stepped aside a charge from O'Chunks and stuck his foot out in time to trip the berserker. "I think I've had enough out of you," Luigi said. He knelt down on O'Chunk's broad back, but before he could deal a lightning strike, he was pulled away and into a pillar.

"Oh, how _nice_ of you," Mr. L drawled as he gave Mario a contemptuous look before his gaze swept out to encompass both junior minions and junior heroes. "Protecting even your enemies. Well, then! I will bring the world crashing down around your corpses! HAVE AT YOU!"

Green lightning danced around the room, falling from the ceiling in pinpoint strikes that forced his opponents to keep moving. Luigi laughed as he jumped over Bowser's spiked shell and tossed a ball of lightning at him, which Bowser somehow managed to avoid. The Koopa turned to face him and shot another burst of fire his way. Luigi scoffed and landed on one of the platforms, he catching the fire in a net of electricity before sending it at O'Chunks, the man panicking as his beard was set on fire.

Luigi looked over his shoulder and laughed. "Look! The void grows with every heartbeat. You have _lost_."

"Not yet," Peach said, determination lacing her voice.

Mr. L cocked an eyebrow. "Tell me, precious, how you plan to stop me."

"Good will always find a way to triumph!" Peach asserted.

"Good," Mr. L sneered. "There is no _good_ in this world!"

Luigi was forced to jump away when Mario attacked him with Cudge.

"What, do you plan on making this a showdown between the hero of the Light Prognosticus and the one destined to bring an end to all worlds?" Luigi said mockingly.

"Luigi, stop this!" Mario said. "This isn't like you."

"I'm done with caring about what you think," Luigi replied. "I listened to you and worshipped you, but I'm done with that bullshit. Your legend ends here, bro."

Barry turned aside a ball of lightning, and Mr. L snarled in frustration. "You _will_ run out of tricks to save you."

Mr. L saw a red glint out of the corner of his eye and dodged away from a number of Rubees that embedded themselves in the platform he was standing on.

"Fine," he snarled at Mimi. "I will kill you instead of just maiming you this time."

A latticework of lightning filled the room, forcing the heroes and minions to escape through the holes in the pattern.

Luigi smirked when O'Chunks was caught in one, and he fell to the floor, his body smoking slightly. "One by one, you _will_ fall."

"Stop this right now, commanded Count Bleck!"

Mr. L turned and gave his former boss a cheerful smile. "Have a change in _heart_ Count? Well, sucks to be you! You're way too late to stop anything."

As Luigi raised his hands to tighten the net of electricity, a voice cut into his concentration:

"It's never too late!"

Mr. L looked to Nastasia, then hissed when bright, Pure Light flashed around him, nearly blinding him. He felt the invincibility granted by the Chaos Heart flicker and fade, but he still had its enormous power at his disposal. The answer as to why he hadn't been crippled became obvious when he lowered his hand to look at the Hearts that encircled him.

Luigi laughed and a swipe of his hand sent the Hearts scattering through the room, shattering two of them. "It takes _eight_ Pure Hearts, not _seven_," he sneered. "You have lost!"

"I can beat you even without eight hearts! You're nowhere near strong enough to defeat Bowser!" Bowser roared and rushed him.

"Oh, that's _right_," Luigi spat as he ducked under a stream of fire. "Only Mario can beat you."

Luigi dashed through the fire, ignoring the heat so that he could deliver a strike to Bowser's jaw that threw Bowser's head back. Luigi was almost certain that he had heard a snap—a suspicion that was justified when Bowser crumpled.

"Bowser! No!"

Mr. L laughed as he strolled casually away from Bowser, the Princess running over towards the felled King Koopa. "Aw, how _sweet_. I'm sure he'd be glad to know you cared for him, at least in his final moments."

Peach glared at him, her blue eyes brimming with tears. "Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"Because it must be done," Luigi replied simply. He directed a stream of lightning at her, and slowly the cloth and metal of her parasol melted, and he could see the desperation in her eyes as she saw her doom approaching.

"Peach!"

Luigi barely evaded the explosion of Boomer, and shrapnel cut a line across his cheek.

"So troublesome," Luigi chided as he gathered lightning around him like a shield. "You have no choice but to accept that you have _failed_."

"We haven't failed until the worlds are gone!" Tippi cried and Mr. L gestured contemptuously her way, trapping her in a cage of green-black lightning.

"If I wanted your opinion, Pixl, I would have asked for it."

"Let her go!" Count Bleck demanded.

"It's just a cage, my dear Count. She won't be hurt if she doesn't try to flutter her way out," Mr. L replied.

Luigi felt a familiar pressure on his mind and a whip of lightning brought Nastasia over to him, which effectively brought Mimi's Rubee attacks to a halt.

"This is not mind control, Nastasia," Mr. L crooned. "This is something far worse."

Luigi threw her away, sending her careening into Peach and Mimi, and the electricity from the whip danced across their bodies before knocking them out.

"Now, who do we have left?" Luigi asked as he turned, examining the scorched and shattered room. "Ah, the 'deleter of worlds', and the hero of the Light Prognosticus."

"I won't let you win," Mario said and Luigi laughed as he pressed his hand over both his physical heart and the Chaos Heart that was his true source of life.

"Oh, really?" he drawled. "I'm your twin brother, aren't I? You won't kill me."

"But you'll kill me?"

Mr. L waved the statement away. "Of course I will. That's my job description, right? Bring darkness to all, remember?"

"This isn't just the Chaos Heart talking, is it?" Mario said softly and Luigi crossed his arms.

"How does it feel, brother?" Luigi asked. "Standing there, knowing that you're powerless. Knowing that, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, it will not be enough, it will _never_ _be enough_."

"Luigi…" Mario said weakly.

A whirlwind of lightning began to form around Luigi. "And now, your legend dies with you!"

"Mr. L!"

Luigi sighed and turned to face Count Bleck. "What do you want—_"_

He was unable to finish the statement, as he was forced to catch the indigo-colored Pure Heart.

He wasn't expecting the surge of affection that hit him.

An image of his engineering bay, he showing off Brobot, which was accompanied by a flush of pride.

Amusement accompanying the memory of listening to him embellish his martial prowess.

Worry over his injuries after coming back from his first fight with Mario, outweighing any annoyance felt over the loss to the 'hero'.

An image of him looking both contrite and disappointed while surveying the smoldering remnants of his first lab, a faint smirk on his face at how he had singed O'Chunks' eyebrows off and the inability to _really_ reprimand him because it actually was slightly funny.

The memory of him sporting a broad grin on his face as he demonstrated the brobotic creatures that could clean just as well as servants, all without complaining about the fallout site that was Mimi's room, a mingling of delight and caution accompanying it.

Rock-solid knowledge that when he knelt before him and pledged loyalty, it wasn't just lip-service.

Trust that he would do the right thing when push came to shove.

A familial love, that of a parent to a particularly willful child.

"_I believe in you."_

Mr. L cried out in horror and threw the Pure Heart away before clutching at his head.

_Those were the Count's memories…of me?_

The power of the Chaos Heart that burned through his veins attempted to scorch the emotions and images away, but the final four words rattled through his brain.

"_I believe in you."_

"No," Mr.L snarled. "You will not stop this. You _cannot_ stop this!" Luigi glared at Count Bleck, who was watching him intently. "Isn't this what you wanted, what you wished for, what you worked towards? Erase the senselessness of living, rid the world of the agony of existence?"

"To live is to suffer, yes," Count Bleck—no, no, _Blumiere—_said. "But there is so much more to life than suffering."

"You cannot back out of this now!" Luigi snarled.

A sharp, hard object hit the side of Luigi's head, and he reflexively caught the object just so he could throw it at Mario, because he just _knew_ that he was the one who threw it, it was just like whenever—

Him looking particularly irritated as the cold slush of a dozen successfully pelted snowballs dripped into his collar, and the guilty, apologetic hot cocoa that followed—love.

Working on homework together, laughing over inane jokes they wanted to write into their book reports, but would never dare to for fear of their mother's retribution—love.

He holding an icepack against a black eye, expression frustrated, but with a conspiratory glint to his eyes—love.

Fighting over who would open Christmas presents first until their father opened _his_ first instead—love.

The awkward moment when they found their parents' porn stash and decided to watch one just to find out why a guy had to be 18 to buy any—love.

Discovering how much more fun it was to fix broken things than studying—love.

The awe of discovering the Mushroom Kingdom—love.

The sheer thrill of adventure after adventure, of saving princess and worlds—love.

And a secret that he hadn't thought about for a very, very long time.

Mario's Pure Heart dropped out of Luigi's numb fingers and Luigi found that he was crying, tears streaming down his face.

Shame and regret were negative emotions, ones that the Chaos Heart knew and could latch onto, but were not productive for driving one towards the annihilation of all worlds—that didn't matter, though. The Chaos Heart focused on negativity, and that was it.

_What have I done? _

Luigi looked at his brother, who was staring up at him with desperate hope shining in his eyes.

_I have to undo this. I have to destroy the Chaos Heart, but that would require the Chaos Heart being weakened by all eight Pure Hearts, which isn't possible—I literally destroyed two of them. But…_

Mr. L's hands clutched at his chest, feeling the cool curves of the Chaos Heart embedded in his body. _It forced a Pure Heart out of me. Maybe…I can't destroy the Chaos heart, but maybe I can contain it, neutralize it. Both it and the Pure Heart are a part of me, afterall._

A sweep of his hand sent Mario and Blumiere flying into walls and knocking them unconscious.

"What are you doing?" Tippi demanded as Luigi walked over to the Pure Heart that was his.

"Trying to fix the terrible thing I've done," he replied softly. He picked up his Pure Heart and _focused_, and, gradually, the grey, stony shell cracked and flaked away to reveal a dimly glowing, green Pure Heart.

"How can you stop the void with only one Pure Heart?"

"Funny thing about humans," Luigi said as he took off his shirt and tossed it away, his hat going with it. "We're complicated as hell. The Chaos Heart…it's all the Bad Stuff in humans. Rage, cruelty, revenge, despair. The Pure Hearts…they're love and hope and joy and belonging. The Good Things in life."

"I don't follow," Tippi replied flatly.

"Oh, c'mon, you used to be human once, right?" Luigi said. "Wasn't there a time that you felt torn between bad and good emotions?"

"So…you're going to try to combine the Chaos Heart and a Pure Heart and hope for the best?"

"Not just _any_ Pure Heart…_my_ Pure Heart. The Chaos Heart has become _my_ Heart, too. So, it's just a matter of combining the best and worst in me. It'll work. Probably."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Well, we'll all be dead so it won't matter, right?" Mr. L drawled.

Holding the Pure Heart in his left hand, he dug the nails of his right hand into the border of the Chaos Heart, hard enough that even his blunt nails were drawing blood. He focused on the memories his brother had given him, the steady love he felt for his brother beneath all the bitterness about being constantly left behind; the desire that there be another tomorrow for Mario and Peach, Blumiere and Timpani, O'Chunks, Nastasia, Mimi, and even Bowser; that no-one suffer for one person's selfishness.

He wheezed as he felt the Chaos Heart writhe against the positive feelings he was drawing from his mind and feeding into the Pure Heart, and the brighter the Pure Heart glowed, the darker and more ferocious the Chaos Heart became.

It was much harder to fight back the negative emotions then let go of the positive ones, and the Chaos Heart was wont to let its chosen host go.

Still, Luigi managed to claw the Chaos Heart out of his chest, he feeling light-headed from the physical, mental, and emotional effort. He made sure he had a solid grip on both Hearts, prayed to whatever deity would listen to him, and then slammed the two together.

A memory floated to the surface.

He was standing on a platform in the Underwhere Road, Mario before him. His twin held out Mr. L's hat, which he had resigned himself to having lost to the flames of Bowser's retribution. In that moment, he had been torn. He was grateful to have his hat back, but hated that his _enemy_ had done him such a favor. He wanted to push Mario off the platform and hope that he really went to the Underwhere, but he also wanted to hug him and thank him for saving an object he cherished without reason.

It was complicated, it was stupid, and it was something that only the Human Heart could manage to contain.

Luigi felt his body begin to unravel and cried out in panic.

_No! I can't leave Mario alone! He'll do something stupid like blow the house up while trying to boil water._

He struggled against the emotional energy that roared around him, fought against it as it sought to use the body of the host that so ungraciously denied the gift of power as fuel to sustain the Chaos Heart. He was pulled in the opposite direction by the Pure Heart, it drawing energy from him in an attempt to fight back the overwhelming and seductive darkness.

_No! Mario has no sense of direction, he can get lost going to the damn _bathroom_ if he isn't paying attention._

He felt that the only substantial things were his head and hands.

_No, no! I know that people say that you can be torn apart by your emotions, but this is too literal for me! It can't end this way!_

Abruptly, his hands came together, and the cessation of power was almost as painful as its existence. In his hands he held a Heart, smaller than the Chaos or Pure Heart. It was a vibrant neon-green, but within its depths swirled midnight-green, the contained darkness in constant motion.

_Huh. Well, look at that. It worked. I wonder what has happened to the Void._

Luigi cried out in alarm when the Human Heart fell through insubstantial fingers, and he could feel his face peeling away into nothingness, every last drop of his being having been consumed in the effort to control the most fundamental forces of the Human Heart.

_No! Mario!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Author: **I debated chopping this up into two chapters, but then decided not to because, well, what would have been Chapter 9-1 really had nothing interesting in it. So, instead, you get one very long chapter. Enjoy?

Note on Luigi's last name: Mario purportedly was named Mario because of an argument the Nintendo president had with the Nintendo of America's warehouse landlord, who was named Mario Segale. Thus, Luigi Segale.

**Disclaimer**: Ahahahaha

**Chapter 9**

"She claims that you materialized in her bathtub via the drain," the police officer said slowly, probably chalking up what the woman had said to some new kind of hallucinogenic drug.

"If that's what she says, then it must be true," Luigi replied with a shrug.

Luigi had, admittedly, been just as bewildered to find himself woken with a face-full of pepper spray, but he objectively understood—a woman living alone in Brooklyn was apt to have such a reaction when an unknown man simply appeared in her bathtub.

Still, the pepper spray had hurt.

"And you have no idea how you got there."

Luigi shook his head. "No clue."

He was sitting in a police car, waiting for what would come. He had never been arrested before, and he had never watched cop dramas, so he had no idea what to expect, but felt he was being treated suspiciously well, given that she hadn't even handcuffed him—although she _had_ taken away all his tools. Doing so made sense, considering he was a plumber and some of the tools of his trade could feasibly make decent weapons.

So, he was waiting in the back seat of a police car, feeling very out of his depth and, frankly, terrified. The officer had indicated that the year was 2014—the last thing he clearly recalled was going out to a job in 1983.

_Surely a person can't lose a third of their lives…right?_ He wondered as he absently rubbed the cloth over his heart. He couldn't deny that time had passed, either—the montage he was treated to as they drove through the typical stop-and-go of the City demonstrated that _clearly. _The music was different, the way people dressed had changed, and a great many of the stores he had remembered frequenting were now just…gone.

Thankfully, it seemed that overalls hadn't gone completely out of style for a man of his profession, so he didn't stick out as much as he could have.

"Hey, Mr. Segale?"

Luigi looked back from the window to the officer.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Something interestin' turned up," she said, keeping her eyes on the road. "We've found a missing persons report that fits you almost perfectly. It's from three decades ago, though, and, you sure as hell don't look like you're in your fifties."

Luigi shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry?"

"My dad would kill to look like you. He's been bitchin' about going grey early, and blaming it on me and my sister."

"Can…can I see the report?"

"When we get to the station."

Luigi nodded and turned back to looking out the window, although his focus was more on the reflection in the glass than the scenery.

_I should be in my fifties?_ He thought, bewildered. The officer was right when she said he didn't look it, and he certainly didn't feel over fifty years old. The face that stared back at him wasn't in its fifties, that was for certain.

The arrived at the station and Luigi was let out, and guided into the building.

"There were contacts on the missing persons' report," the officer told him. "We tried them, and were surprised when we actually _did_ speak to your mother. I don't think she believed Rose, but said that she was going to come down anyway."

Luigi nodded meekly as he was lead to a seat and left there. Luigi looked down at his boots and absently stroked his mustache.

_If I'm in my fifties, that means mama is in…is in her seventies…_

His stomach dropped to his shoes and he grimaced, running a rather grimy glove through his hair once he had taken off his personalized hat.

_She's gonna be so angry with me._

The wait was unbearable, especially since his mind decided to assault him with just how badly his mama would react.

_Well, she can't use a wooden spoon on me in public, but that won't keep her from slapping me the minute I'm outside of the station…_

His cheek was already tingling in anticipation of the pain.

_And I can't even find a bright side, since if they could only contact mama that means that papa is probably…dead?_

The thought was horrifying and left Luigi squirming in guilt.

"Luigi?"

Luigi startled, having been lost in morose musings about just what his mother could do to him and legally get away with it, and looked up quickly.

She had aged considerably, yes, but he would recognize his mama no matter what happened to her.

"Mama…" he said, uncertain how to continue. Tears were leaking out of her eyes, but anger was plain on her features.

_Yup, I'm in for hell._

"Where have you been, young man?" she asked with quiet intensity.

Luigi opened and closed his mouth before fixing his gaze on where the steel was beginning to show through the leather of his boots. "I'm…can we talk about this someplace else? _Please_?"

His mother stared at him for a long time before she sighed. "Very well. I guess personal conversations don't belong in police stations. At least I didn't have to pay any money for bail."

Luigi laughed weakly as he stood, and extended his arm to his mother. She linked her arm in his and they left the station together.

Luigi counted himself lucky that she waited until they were a good distance away from the station before she hit him hard enough to make him see stars.

"You…!"

"Mama, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Luigi said quickly, rubbing his stinging cheek and trying to stave off another vigorous slap. "I really didn't mean to...you see…" Luigi's shoulders slumped. "The last thing I remember before being woken up by a panicked young woman is getting out of my van to do a job in a residence. In _1983._"

Mama Segale frowned, the lines of life that were etched on her face deepening with the motion. "What?"

"Home first?" Luigi pleaded.

"I live with one of your cousins. Since your father passed away last fall…"

Luigi flinched and bit back tears. He had guessed that his father was gone, but had hoped that such wasn't the case, that he had just been out of the house when the police called…

"I'm sorry," Luigi murmured after his mama had swiped them both through into the subway. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry. Mama—"

His mother placed one finger on his lips and shook her head. "We have a lot of catching up to do."

I_ have a lot of catching up to do,_ Luigi amended. _I have nothing to say of interest to her because…I can't remember anything._

The ride back to her home was silent, but that was partly because Luigi's head was reeling from everything he was experiencing. Sure, he had seen all the differences through the windows of the cop car, but sitting in the subway with people who were used to the new millennium was…overwhelming.

"Are you okay?" his mother asked, and Luigi gave her an attempt at a smile, which he obviously failed at from the concerned look she gave him.

"It's nothing," he murmured in reply.

"Of course," his mother said dryly, which made him smile weakly.

_I've always been transparent._

The walk was necessarily slow after they got off the subway, given that summer was just hitting full-swing and the heat was oppressive.

"You've managed to keep the family home," Luigi murmured. 'Home' being the apartment that his parents had bought long and long ago when rent wasn't exorbitant.

"One of the few constants in life," his mother replied as she opened the front door.

A dog ran to greet them, dancing happily around Mama before giving Luigi an inquisitive look.

Luigi extended his hand, which the dog sniffed and wagged its tail before turning away.

"Well, Ben likes you, so you can't be all bad."

Luigi looked up to see a young woman standing down the hallway. He didn't recognize her, but if thirty years had really passed, he might not have even _met_ her. She looked to Mama and said: "So, is he the real deal?"

"He's my son, yes," Mama replied, and Luigi felt his throat close up.

Luigi hung his hat on a hook near the door and took off his shoes and gloves, deciding that he'd rather not track anything into the house.

"How do you know?"

"Mother's intuition," Mama replied. She looked at Luigi sternly, who flinched.

"Now, explain yourself."

Luigi walked into the den and sat on the loveseat before saying, "I can't."

"What do you mean, 'you can't'?"

"I…I don't remember the last thirty years," Luigi replied. "It's like, between one breath and the next, decades passed."

"You really have no idea?" his cousin asked.

Luigi shook his head slowly.

"And you really think this is your son?"

"Karla. Would you recognize your daughter, no matter what?"

"Of course."

"Then trust me. He _is_ Luigi."

"I can tell you stories from when I was a kid," Luigi said, "but I can't remember anything since 1983."

"Prove it," his mama said, looking at him intently.

Luigi rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, there was that one time when I was dared to drink a can of diet cola with a mouthful of Mentos…that didn't end well. Especially since I tried to keep everything in so it ended up squirting out my nose. I was, what, ten?"

Mama's lips twitched as Karla snickered.

"Yes," Mama affirmed.

"And then there was the time where we went to the wrong Haunted House and I was traumatized for life and couldn't sleep without my lights on for a month. And the time we went to Coney Island and stayed on the Tea Cups a little too long…"

Luigi recounted a great many embarrassing childhood stories that had his mother laughing and his cousin in tears.

"You remember all that, but you can't remember anything since 1983?" Karla asked, and Luigi nodded as he absently rubbed the cloth over his heart.

"Nothing. Trying to get out a stubborn clog out of a bathtub drain and then being hit with pepper spray with no down-time in-between."

Mama hummed and leaned back in the recliner that she had claimed during Luigi's retelling of some of the most memorable events of his childhood. "Strange. I guess it's possible, though. Oh!"

Luigi shrunk under the intensity of his mother's stare. "Do you know where Mario is?"

The mention of 'Mario' brought up images of birthday parties and school events, but again hit the wall of 1983.

"N-no. I don't know where he is," Luigi said once he could speak again.

"At all?"

"Nothing."

There was a pained silence before Mama sighed. "I suppose I should be grateful that even _one_ of my baby boys made his way home."

"I'm sorry…" Luigi trailed off.

"I think we should throw a small 'Yay! You're alive!' party for Luigi," Karla said in an attempt to break the gloom that was descending.

"Why not?" Mama said, offering them a smile. "There's precious little to celebrate these days."

"And you'll probably get a chance to meet my daughter," Karla said cheerfully. "Now, what should we do for our little shindig?"

"Um, where should I set myself up? Just until I get my feet under me again. I still know how to be a plumber afterall, and I'd hate to freeload…" Luigi trailed off.

"Well, I'm sure Sasha would be willing to share a room with her mother, at least for a little."

"Oh, no, no! That'd be too much trouble," Luigi protested. "I can take the couch or something."

"Luigi…"

"No, really. I don't want anyone to be inconvenienced on my behalf," he insisted. "Couches are comfortable, anyway."

Karla and Mama shared a look before Karla said: "Fine. Aunt Maria, think you could make dinner while I get Luigi up to speed on what has happened? Maybe something will jog his memory."

Mama hummed and meandered into the kitchen while Karla picked up a remote and sat next to him. There were more buttons on the remote than Luigi thought could possibly be useful, and the TV, when it turned on, had a surprisingly sharp picture and _hundreds_ of channels.

Karla laughed as his obvious bewilderment. "Okay, given that that is how you reacted to a _TV_…"

The next two hours had Luigi's head spinning as he was shown his mom's desktop computer, his cousin's laptop, cell phones, iPods, DVD players…

"Ow, my head," Luigi muttered after Karla had finished demonstrating how to play Candy Crush on her phone.

Karla laughed and patted him gently on the shoulder. "Well, if one thing has convinced me that you're not lying when you say you can't remember the past 30 years, it's how you react to tech."

"I'll get a hang of it," Luigi promised as he examined the iPhone. "It'll just take time."

A whiff of what his mother had been making hit him and he almost toppled the table over as he stood. "You didn't….!"

Mama gave him a grin. "Lasagna for Luigi."

Luigi nearly ran over and pulled his mother into a tight hug before kissing her cheek. "Mama, you're the best!"

Mama laughed and Luigi quickly found the plates and set the table.

Even as he sat down to his favorite meal, he couldn't help but feel that something was missing, and that it had everything to do with the dull emptiness that seemed to have sunk into his chest.

**⅃ - L - L - L**

The day dawned bright and cheerful, and Luigi woke with the sun, as he habitually did.

_Someone _had to make coffee, afterall.

He wandered through the kitchen, figuring out the overly complicated coffee pot and blearily putting together a breakfast of toast and peanut butter for himself. He knew he had slept because his body was sore from having to contort itself on the couch, but he felt far from refreshed. A feeling of _lack_ had stayed with him all night, and he had dreamed of monochrome corridors and flickering black flames.

He had passed out not long after dinner, and thus missed meeting his…second cousin? His cousin's daughter. It was a Saturday, however, which meant she was home and that he'd meet her eventually.

He wanted to go out and see for himself how the City had changed, and maybe scout out places that wanted to hire a plumber...if he was still able to work as one. He debated making breakfast, but decided that any cooking endeavor that was more complicated than putting bread in a toaster was best to be supervised, at least the first time. He didn't doubt his cooking skill, he doubted his proficiency with modern culinary technology, even if it _did _look like what he remembered.

The next one awake was his mother, who was probably drawn out by the smell of coffee.

"Half-and-half and sugar, mama?" he asked and she yawned.

"Yes."

Luigi smiled faintly as he gathered together his mother's coffee. It appeared that time hadn't changed the fact that she wasn't a morning person.

"I'm planning on re-learning the city today," he told her when he handed her coffee.

Mama took a sip, then sighed softly. "You still make a good cup of coffee, Luigi."

Luigi smiled and sat down on the couch next to his mother.

"Going out seems a little bit risky, at least by yourself. Why don't you take Sasha with you? I can give her an errand list and you can do it together. If there are detours along the way, that's perfectly fine."

Luigi hummed and they fell into companionable silence, the omnipresent sound of traffic a low thrum.

"I really am happy to have you back."

Luigi looked at his mother and hugged her, holding her tightly.

"Your papa and I were devastated. To lose not one, but _both_ children…it was hard. It seemed as if you two had simply just vanished off the face of the Earth. There was no sign that you had been planning on going anywhere, and your work van was still outside the apartment complex you had been called to. You were just suddenly…gone. And now you're here again, looking not a day older than when I saw you last."

Luigi kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Mama. I don't know…I don't know _anything_. I wish I could give you something…abducted by aliens or something…but, there's just nothing."

"Nothing about Mario?"

Luigi sighed softly and said, "Nothing. It's all one huge blank."

"I didn't believe the police, you know," his mother said. "I was going to ignore them. But, something…something said I should go. Should see whether or not they were pulling my leg. Maybe, hope against hope, you _had_ returned to me." She hiccuped slightly and took a sip of her coffee. "And now you're here."

"Yeah," Luigi murmured. "Now I'm here."

Luigi wasn't sure how long they stayed that way, and he kept on trying to throw his mind into the recent past, into something before pepper spray but after stubborn bathtub clog. Every time he though he had grasped onto something, however, it was quickly wrenched out of his grasp.

There was nothing but a cavernous emptiness and a maelstrom of green-edged shadows.

Eventually his cousin and her daughter woke and meandered into the kitchen as well. Sasha gave him a groggy wave hello before making herself a bowl of Fruitloops and sitting at the kitchen table, staring at it blankly.

"I've decided that I'm going to send Luigi and Sasha on some errands today," Mama proclaimed, and Karla frowned at her.

"You sure?"

"Positive. They can chaperone each other."

Luigi smiled wryly.

"I'll make the list, which should give Sasha enough time to wake up and Luigi time to take a shower." She turned to Luigi. "I have a few pieces of your father's clothing that you might be able to fit into."

Luigi would have been the first to admit that he smelled pretty rank, so happily took a towel and himself into the bathroom he was directed towards. He stepped inside the bathroom, stripped, and when he caught a look of himself his first thought was:

_Oh, shit._

Oh the left side of his chest, over his heart, was a massive, ragged scar. There were five deeper puncture-like scars around it, which made him feel like someone—or something—had clawed at his chest and attempted to take something out, but the entire area was a mess of jagged tissue.

_Maybe they succeeded,_ he thought as he ran his fingers over the irregular skin pattern. He had a pulse, though, which made him think that if they had tried for his heart, his ribs had stopped them. Still, its presence was unnerving.

The shower felt very nice, as if he was washing away more than just a day's accumulated grime. He ran his hand through his hair and leaned his forehead against the cool tile.

_Could that…could this wound somehow be the reason I don't remember anything? But, then, why the entirety of the last 30 years and not more or less? It makes no sense…_

He gasped at a sudden pressure that bore down on his chest, and barely managed to remain standing. Just as quickly as the sensation came, it vanished, he feeling perfectly fine. Not better than when he had woken up, he just no longer felt that he was going to die.

Luigi took in a deep, shuddering breath, attempting to steady himself. He finished his shower to find an outfit hanging on the outer doorknob to the bathroom. He pulled everything in and held it out before him.

A short-sleeve green shirt, black, belted pants, and his hat.

"…_Mister…_"

Luigi waited, breath held at the snippet of memory, but as quickly as it surfaced it was dragged back under, his memory once again growing opaque.

Luigi shook his head slowly, then put on the outfit his mother had picked out for him, placing his hat on last. He gave his reflection a feeble smile before leaving the bathroom.

"Was wondering if you'd _ever_ get done," Sasha muttered into the screen of her laptop. "Aunt Maria gave me a list of things to do and get for her. Ready when you are…Luigi, right?"

Luigi nodded. "That's-a me."

His mind stumbled over the stupid, short phrase, but Sasha didn't seem to notice, gathering her belongings into a small backpack.

"C'mon, daylight's burning."

Luigi followed her out of the house, waiting for her to lock the door behind her.

The neighborhood had understandably changed in thirty years, but it was still jarring to see landmarks that he had grown up with just…gone.

"So, mom says you have amnesia."

Luigi looked to Sasha and nodded. "As far as anyone can tell."

"Huh. Thought that was just a plot device used in video games and stuff."

"Do you play video games?" Luigi asked, intrigued. From what he saw attached to the large television, it appeared that video games had become much more advanced than what he very dimly remembered.

"Yup, all kinds," Sasha said with a grin as they made their way to the 2 train. "FPS, RTS, RPG…you name it."

Luigi blinked. "Pardon?"

Sasha smiled smugly. "First person shooter, real time strategy, role playing game."

"Oh. Uh, so, what're your favorites?"

Sasha was happy to fill the silence talking about the games she liked best, starting from the "original" PlayStation and moving on in time.

"But, my favorite game of all time is Kingdom Hearts 2. People say the original Kingdom Hearts is better, but I don't care."

"What's it about?"

"Well," she said, and took a moment to think. "It's about a boy named Sora who has to travel to other worlds to save them from the 'evil' Organization XIII. Except most of the people in the Organization aren't _really_ evil, they're just trying to get their Hearts back. You see, they're Nobodies, shells that are left behind when a particularly strong person loses their Heart. So—"

Luigi's mind stopped processing after that, repeating: "_They're just trying to get their Hearts back…they're Nobodies, shells that are left behind when a particularly strong person loses their Heart…_" over and over again until it was the only thing he heard.

"—gi? Luigi? Hey, man, can you hear me?"

Luigi blinked, flushed, and rubbed the back of his neck in self-consciousness. "Sorry. I just didn't think video games could get so complex."

"Yeah, thing's've come a long way since the '80s, although I don't think people notice that because we're, y'know, living it." Sasha paused and looked at the list. "Well, why don't we work down? Go to the highest Uptown we need to, then work our way back to Brooklyn."

"Sounds as good a plan as any," Luigi said as they found seats next to each other.

"I'm gonna zone out, okay?" Sasha said as she showed him the earbuds to her iPod. "Just watch out for our stop, okay? Oh, and ignore the subway performers, will you? You don't have any money to give them anyway, right?"

Luigi shook his head. As far as he knew, he was penniless.

"Right, then. Remember our stop!"

Luigi nodded and looked around the subway, not bothering to pretend to do it covertly. If the passengers wanted to slot him as a tourist, so be it. It was interesting anyway, people-watching.

The biggest difference he could see was the omnipresence of technology. A majority of the people either had their heads bent over their cell phone or were plugged into an mp3 player, some people were reading on old-fashioned books or _AM New York_. Every once in a while there'd be an _obvious_ tourist, pouring over an open subway map with their travel companion, which Luigi knew would be a target.

It was all fairly quiet.

…_trying to get their Hearts back…_

Luigi scowled at the scuffed and coffee-sticky floor.

_Knock it off, brain,_ he told himself.

…_trying to get their Hearts back…_

_Goddamnit,_ he muttered and rubbed his chest where the scarring was. _What, then? Am I missing my heart? How can I be alive and not have it? That's not possible._

The subway announced their stop and Luigi nudged Sasha into movement, they squeezing out of the doors just before the masses pushed their way inward.

"That was some skill," Sasha said with a smile. "The way you worked around the crowd."

"I've always had pretty good agility," Luigi replied. "So, what's first on the list?"

The 'errands' were really just an excuse to get Sasha and he out of the house. They didn't really need anything near Central Park, but it was a nice day, so they took a stroll through the greenery.

Luigi felt he wasn't used to seeing so many _humans_, although he had a sneaking suspicion that he had been in crowded areas within the last 30 years anyway.

_Who knows why and where, though,_ he sighed as Sasha bought them overpriced ice cream from a street vendor on one of the Park's walkways.

She handed the popsicle to Luigi, who took it gratefully.

"So…really? Absolutely nothing?"

Luigi shook his head. "Absolutely nothing."

"Damn. 30 _years_ gone. Why do you look young, though?"

"I age well?" Luigi offered with a half-hearted smile, which made Sasha snort.

"Right. Come on, we have other places to go…"

The bustle and crowding of the city was slightly overwhelming, but simultaneously comforting. He didn't have to worry as much. There were other people who were _paid_ to take care of any problem that cropped up, it didn't rest on him and Mario.

Luigi frowned at the thought. _Mario and I are _plumbers. _Why would we need to do anything but that…?_

As they walked by a tchotchka shop, Luigi was brought up short by a green crystal heart dangling in the window. Light filtered through its mass-produced facets and he felt as if it was his body, not the light, that was splintering across the pavement.

The breath was knocked out of him as he felt as if an elephant was sitting on his chest, and his left arm was going numb. He felt he was fighting for every breath and the world began to spin.

…_shells that are left behind when a particularly strong person loses their Heart…_

He knew Sasha was calling his name, that she was trying to get his attention, but it was hard to concentrate when he could barely breathe.

…_loses their Heart…_

Luigi clutched at his chest with his right hand as Sasha guided him to the ground, she talking frantically on her cell.

People murmured around him, sirens wailed in the distance, Sasha talked to him, but it mattered very little in the face of the litany that was running through Luigi's head.

_I have a heart but not a Heart. I have a heart but not a Heart. _

"How did this happen?" he wondered aloud, speaking in barely a whisper, softly enough that it was lost in the arrival of emergency personnel.

Luigi was caught in the maelstrom of activity but barely registered any of it. Tests were done, his blood was drawn, and he laid in the ambulance wondering: _How does one lose a Heart, and how do you get it back?_

Luigi didn't even register how he was wheeled back and forth, didn't know or care if he was put under for one procedure or another; all that mattered was the terrible knowledge that he had lost—or had taken from him—something that was essential to his being.

By the time he wrenched himself back to the present, he found himself lying in a hospital bed, his mother in a chair next to him, and a doctor standing at the foot of his bed, clipboard in hand.

"You had a heart attack," the doctor told him once it was obvious that Luigi was lucid. "But it wasn't due to a blood clot."

"What, then?" his mother asked.

"His heart is heavily scarred," the doctor replied. "Or the scarring could be of your pericardium—the tissue that surrounds your heart. In either case, it is constricting your heart's ability to pump blood effectively, and sometimes it is unable to pump any blood at all."

"Is there anything you can do about it?" Mama asked.

The doctor looked at the charts on his clipboard, probably trying to figure out how to phrase 'no'.

"Nothing short of a heart transplant could help, and the waiting list for that is long and the supply is low."

"So I'm gonna die," Luigi murmured, distinctly unhappy. _To die after just getting home…that's not fair._

"I can prescribe blood thinners that could make the blood easier to move along, but with the extent of structural damage that you have, I'm not sure how much of an effect that will have."

"Can I go home?" Luigi asked.

"You might die on the way there."

"I won't."

"If you leave, it will be against medical advice."

Luigi glared at the hospital cot, but said nothing more.

His Mama and the doctor spoke for a while longer, but Luigi didn't pay attention to it.

He just felt particularly bad that he was dying and didn't entirely know why. His mother had already lost him once, to lose him again after such a short time…

_I'm not dead yet,_ he scolded himself as he absently rubbed the ghastly scar over his heart. _Maybe whatever did this is what cost me my memories and injured my physical heart to the point where it almost _doesn't work.

Luigi stilled his hand over the scar and closed his eyes. _C'mon, Luigi. Don't give up without a fight._

"_I believe in you."_

Luigi's eyes snapped open and he felt his heart thud painfully in his chest.

_Two hearts—one a swirling, angry black and grey, the other a brilliant, glowing verdant. One heart—glittering, neon green containing a restless midnight-green._

He took deep, labored gasps of air as an image swam before his eyes. A tall, black door, edged in white; black and white hearts intertwined in the border; a white circle in the middle, with jagged, white lines shooting out from it.

"_Listen carefully,"_ a memory told him. "_I have given you a key to the Castle, but you will still need to know how to get here. Castle Bleck, coordinates 79, 5, 368, 12.314."_

Luigi swallowed hard as his irregular heartbeat and breathing made the machines attached to him screech in alarm.

_Might as well try. What do I have to lose?_

Luigi sat up as far as he could, reached out, and pressed his hand against air, surprised at how firm it felt beneath his palm.

"Castle Bleck," he murmured in a language that he would have sworn he hadn't known previously. "79 in x, 5 in y, 368 in z, 12.314 in t."

To his surprise, and to those who had entered the room, the door Luigi had seen in his vision literally _drew_ itself onto reality. Luigi knocked feebly on it, and immediately it opened to reveal the strangest duo Luigi swore he had kinda-sorta-maybe seen before.

One was a woman in a white sundress, her shimmering rainbow hair held back by two butterfly-shaped clips, and her sky-blue eyes had gone wide. The other seemed to be barely an apparition, a white top-hat perched on a cylindrical pale-blue monocle-ed head. A white suit-vest, gloves, and a cape that seemed to contain blue skies and sunshine were all that made it up.

"Mr. L!" the woman cried.

Luigi had the feeling that they knew him.

The woman stepped through the door and gathered him in her arms, she stronger than her build would have suggested. "Blumiere, I need O'Chunks _yesterday._ I need him to take Mr. L back to Mario—Mario carries the Human Heart on him at all times."

"No. He needs to go to his home. Being in the Mushroom Kingdom, close to the Heart, might stabilize him long enough for us to find Mario—you never know where he is, especially these days."

"O'Chunks reportin' fer—oh."

"Carry him," the woman commanded, and O'Chunks reached through the door with his massive hands and pulled a limp Luigi through, all the medical accoutrements that accompanied the human attempt at keeping him around if just for seconds longer all falling away.

Luigi hung limply in O'Chunk's arms, shivering uncontrollably. "Hurry!" the behemoth rumbled to the woman.

Luigi saw the woman conjure a different door, and after a moment's disorientation, Luigi found himself looking at a house that was immensely comforting and more familiar than New York had been.

The woman opened the door to the house—_of course it's unlocked, Mario never remembers to lock the door behind him_—and the first thing Luigi saw was a fist-sized, glittering green gem on the floor, just in front of the stairs.

With a soft cry he reached out for it, but his arms would barely listen, his fingers twitching only slightly.

The woman saw where he was looking, but turned to O'Chunks first and said, "Put him on a bed. Any bed, it doesn't matter. Just as long as he's lying down."

Luigi whimpered when the crystal passed out of sight, but he was grateful when he was set down in a bed that smelled like Mario. He fought for each heartbeat, each breath, and startled when he felt something warm and hard placed on his chest.

Energy swirled around him, and the Human Heart sunk slowly beneath his flesh and he cried out in pain and relief.

The Pure Heart and the Chaos Heart had been parts of him, they had each contained a piece of his being because of the emotions and memories that he had poured into them. The turmoil had consumed not his body, but his soul, using it as the glue to bind the Hearts together. His body had not died, but had been sent back to its original world to reform. However, the Hearts were also part of his body, and ripping the Chaos Heart out from where the Pure Heart had been had severely damaged the actual organ—he had been living off of energy that his body retained from the creation of the Human Heart. But, with the Human Heart in his possession again, he was once again whole—body, mind, and spirit.

The reintroduction of the Human Heart also meant that all his memories returned, and he flinched slightly at his most recent ones. _Well, Mario's gonna be pissed at me. I only hope I can talk him down…if he forgives me._

"What was 'at?"

"Mr. L? Erm, Luigi?"

Luigi took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his Heart, feeling the warm, smooth curves of it beneath his skin.

"I'm okay now," he said as he opened his eyes and gave Lady Timpani and O'Chunks a faint smile. "Sorry about that."

"Whut happen' t' ya?"

"It's complicated," Luigi hedged. "Thanks again, though. For helping me. I…wasn't sure that gambit would even _work_."

"What was that place?" Timpani asked as she tucked the blankets around Luigi's shivering form.

"A Hospital in New York City," Luigi replied. "That's where I—and Mario—used to live before the Mushroom Kingdom."

Timpani blinked. "You aren't natural denizens of this place? You have _always_ been dimensional travelers?"

"…yes?"

Timpani sighed and tucked a stray purple hair behind her ear. "You two…"

"I owe you big-time, though," Luigi said. "After everything I did, you still helped me…"

"Well, Mario asked for us to help if you ever came through Castle Bleck," Timpani replied.

"He did?" Luigi asked, eyebrows rising sharply. "I would've thought…"

Timpani pressed a finger to his lips. "Rest. I'm going to enjoy hearing the story Blumiere will tell about the reaction of those from your original dimension to our presence and your ability to conjure that particular door…"

Timpani and O'Chunks left after Luigi thanked them again, and Luigi sighed softly.

He really wanted to rest. He knew he should be tired.

But he wasn't. Not since he was whole again.

"I bet that Mario hasn't even _looked_ at a mop since I've been gone," Luigi muttered and slipped out of the covers, making the bed before walking down the stairs to the den area.

He rubbed his eyes at the mess on the floor, and a look into the kitchen showed dishes spilling over the sides of the sink.

Luigi groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"God, Mario, really?"

Luigi looked down at himself and the hospital gown he was still wearing, then sighed and found his room. He changed into pajamas, started his favorite opera on the turntable, rolled up his sleeves, and set to work making the house live-in-able again.

He was singing along to one of his favorite songs as he scrubbed a pan down when the exclamation of "_Luigi!?"_ cut across the music.

Luigi froze in mid-motion, then forced himself to rinse the pan, put it on the drying rack, and turn to face Mario.

His older brother was as pale as a Boo, his jaw was slack, and his bright blue eyes were wide. One of his gloves was lying on the floor and he had obviously been in the process of taking off the other when he had seen Luigi.

"Luigi, is it—"

"Did you know that over thirty years have passed from the day we left Brooklyn?"

Mario blinked. "What?"

"Yeah. It's 2014 in New York now."

"You were back home?"

"No, _now_ I'm back home. That place was…not. Or, at least, not anymore."

As silence stretched between them, Luigi tried to break it by saying, "Well, I mean, it's obvious that you can't live on your own, so I had to come back, if just to make sure you didn't drown in trash. I bet you don't even—"

Luigi was cut off when Mario tackled him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"And to think that you—Mr. L—gave me a speech on being a hero, the you go and be one."

"It wasn't intentional," Luigi muttered as he hugged his brother back. "I had no idea that you could literally be torn apart by your emotions. Always thought that was a cliché."

Luigi didn't know how long they stayed like that, and didn't really care. His brother had forgiven him, the worlds had been saved, and he was back where he belonged.

"How'd you do it, by the way?" Luigi asked once they had pulled away. "What the hell made you throw the Pure Hearts at me?"

Mario sighed and leaned so his forehead was against Luigi's shoulder.

"I didn't even know if it would _work_. You just seemed so…"

"Insane?" Luigi drawled.

"You seemed to be in such pain."

Luigi frowned, but decided not to comment.

"I accidentally touched the orange Pure Heart when I was trying to avoid getting fried—and found that it contained all the positive emotions and memories of O'Chunks. That made me think. So, I figured the red Heart would be mine, and I knew that that would get through Luigi…but you're both Mr. L and Luigi. What I remembered wouldn't get through to Mr. L—but Count Bleck would. I found that the indigo Heart had the Count's memories in it. While you were busy with everyone else, I explained to the Count that, maybe, we could be able to get through to you, past the Chaos Heart's power, make you stop, and that somehow we'd be able to reverse the destruction."

"Well, it worked."

"At the cost of your life!"

Luigi absently rubbed Mario's shoulder in an attempt at reassurance. "Well, I didn't _actually_ die."

"It certainly seemed you had. After you knocked us out, what happened?"

"Well, the Chaos Heart had literally become a part of me, and it had pushed out my Pure Heart. I figured that meant the both the Chaos Heart and the Pure Heart were _my_ Heart, and since humans can feel both hatred and love at the same time, I figured that my Heart could contain both."

"So you combined them."

"Well, that was the intent. And it worked, didn't it?"

"Luigi…"

Luigi pushed his brother away, then caught and held Mario's eyes. "Look, bro. What happened, happened. It's over now, we're all alive, the world didn't end, and I'm back home where I belong. Let's leave it there, okay?"

Mario hummed, and after a beat of comfortable silence he said: "You know, Daisy is going to have a few choice words to say to you."

Luigi groaned. "Now I'm actually gonna die."

Mario pulled back and gave him a cordial slap on his upper arm. "I'm sure you can find a way to make it up to her."

"I hope you're right, bro. I hope you're right."

**~End~**


End file.
